Keith

Perhaps you've heard of him. Some of you may even be lucky enough to know him. His outlandish styles and unprecidented carisma have made him an international sex icon this nation over. Who is this magnificent master of manliness, you might ask? His name - Keith Rady, his voice- deeply soothing, his grip on society- deadly.As a young lad, Keith's odds were well stacked in favor of pretty much death. He overcame mental and physical challenges, such as mental retardation and AIDS. At the age of 4, he was diagnosed with cancer AND leprosy of the heart. He overcame these hurdles with ease and wrote "How to Handle Life's Little Challenges", which won him a Pulitzer Prize for best novel written by a boy who has overcome severe mental disability. Life went on.In his later years as a lad, Keith found himself in the middle of several battles with the law. Like any true hero to our dim-witted culture, Keith fought the law and won, despite being wrongly accused of murder, rape, and pillage of the villagers, and indecent exposure at a nude beach. "I knew I was innocent," Keith said. "I just had to fight for what I knew was the truth. If I had given up at Heart Leprosy, I probably wouldn't have a heart. I would probably have a pig's heart, or something." Infront of a jury, Keith proclaimed his convincing innocence and won in a huge way. How he managed to keep his cool when faced with endless hours of community service that would have tried even the darkest of souls still amazes and encourages all beings living. "I was so strongly encouraged by Keith's accomplishments," recalls cycling supernova Lance Armstrong. "I looked at my weakness and punched myself for being so hopeless. This broke my nose, but it didn't matter. I had to keep going - this man is my inspiration."Throughout his life, Keith has had various love flings. Afterall, with sex appeal like his, wouldn't you too? He recalls his love affairs in a recent interview with television analyst and long time Good Morning America crack host Katie Couric.KT: Wasn't it hard for you to keep up with so many love interests at once? Keith: Well, not really. I had a secretary that kept track of all my lovers. It made things easier and I was able to run my game. KT: Haha. I bet other men out there are jealous. Keith: I try not to think of it like that. Despite the fact that I have dated Yasmine Bleathe, Janice Dickenson, Paris Hilton, Charlotte Church, that rich heiress to the Greek shipping company who holds a record for youngest billionaire, Angelina Jolie, Laura Prepon, and all three of "The Girls Next Door" in one night, its just who I am. I like to go out and have a good time, not to mention eat well.Its easy to see - Keith Rady is truely a part of American History. His painting, "Koala Bears on Acid" is prominently displayed in seventeen major art museums worldwide. His new hit single, "Radylicious" has taken the Japanese Music Scene by storm. His new line of clothing has also made recent appearances in several fashion shows in Paris. "I like to combine unique relationships in my clothing." He says. "For example, look at my Dirty Khaki piece here. I took this pair of Khakis that I found from the thrift store, I wore them in a rodeo where I broke both my legs after all of the steer got loose and attacked me." Simply, brilliant. Other notable accomplishments in the life of Keith include finding a cure for the common flu, winning the Extremely Competitive Eating of Cocktail Weinies Grand Competition of Huge Proportions, and winning the Boston Marathon.