Nikolai

Oh, hello. My name...and may you never forget it...is NIKOLAI OSHGOSHBGOSHNIKOV!!! I will one day soon be the ruler of the whole world, so you better just get used to the idea, buster. Um...I don't so much like these "getting to know you" sort of things. I always feel awkward. I don't really know what else to say...um... I am from Russia. You can tell this is true, because sometimes I say "da" instead of "yes." Also, you will see that I sometimes wear a Russian hat. So clearly I must be from Russia! I remember growing up a little boy--in Russia, that is--My mother and I, we were so poor. One day, I remember, she told me “Dearest, sweetest Nikolai, my favorite boy child, go into town and steal some bread, so that we might eat.” I didn't like bread. So instead, I joined the circus. That was a very bad idea. So I began to work my way to America. I met a small family of badgers along the way. They taught me how to dance. They taught me to survive by eating mushrooms. And they taught me to always avoid snakes. They were lessons I learned well, and I have always kept them with me in my heart. Only, not really, because a family of dancing badgers would not fit in my heart. But I digress. After I left the badgers, I became a professional wrestler. Every weekend, I wrestled six midgets at the same time. Anyway, now I'm rambling. Trust me, things just got weird after the midget wrestling experience.Oh, and I have a brother. Haven't seen him in awhile, and I'm sure he'll never ever come into my life again.HEY! I'm evil! Did I mention that I love evil?I edited my profile with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4