Anew, the newest and most powerful wave, crashing upon the shores of rock, emerges from the oceanless Chicago suburb of West Chicago. Anew would like for their fans to think of them as only "a rock band," NO! They are an ideal, they are the future, they are the saviors of this pitiful homeostasis of shitty rock that permeates the sound waves of current radio stations that plague the "Land of the FREE!!"Their vocalist Adan, a musician trained in the art of clicking by the Zulu tribes deep in the jungles of the Congo, called upon his fellow mates to create the most powerful musical quintet to date. Their mission: to impregnate the world with their blasphemous yodels. Sky Kalkman, good friend and confidant of Adan's, took up the piccolo flute, while Markus Foote( sky's lover and piccolo moistener) took upon the burden of the accordion. JaMATTiqui, an oracle and warlock, blew his tromboner in reverence to his good friend Adan. On the second day Adan rested and saw that all was good, however, something was missing....That is when fellow brother David Warfbumps proclaimed that he would play the spoons and pat his belly to "the rhythm to the boogie the beat!" Anew was finally constructed. Now Adan and the rest of the brethren could start their hideously kinky escapade to rock stardom. But should you see the five scurrying about your garage for an easy beer or two, please don't call the police, simply offer them a tight teenage virgin to "train" and then sacrifice to the all powerful Zenos, they will take the kind gesture as a sign of respect and will cease all further attempts to seduce your mother into painful orgies with the band. And should you ask them why they do what they do they will respond (probably in a Bavarian dialect) "Du Kanst tanzen wen du vilst!"
