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What's great about this country is that America started the tradition where the richest consumers buy essentially the same things as the poorest. You can be watching TV and see Coca-Cola, and you know that the President drinks Coke, Liz Taylor drinks Coke, and just think, you can drink Coke, too. A Coke is a Coke and no amount of money can get you a better Coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking. All the Cokes are the same and all the Cokes are good. Liz Taylor knows it, the President knows it, the bum knows it, and you know it. – The Philosophy of Andy Warhol: (From A to B and Back Again), 1975
Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personnel success, or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen.
The life I touch for good or ill, will touch another life and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt. -Frederick Buechnerr
Put this in your profile if you are married to work; but frequently cheat on her with liquor and good times because she's a whore anyway...
Wanna laugh so hard it hurts-kinda like getting your zipper snagged on your frank and beans? Here ya go...What did the pimp fireman say ... Where my "hose" at? Get it ha ha aahhhh. No really, it's damn funny and you know it...
There is no such thing as women's intuition. You all just have crap poker faces...
Anyways, a little bit about me, I am about this tall, have some hair and some other non-discriminating features that make it hard for the witnesses to pick me out in the line up...
If life gives you lemons, then don't complain to me about how much they have gone up in price cause I sure as hell don't remember when you could get a whole bushel for a nickel grandma...
I also believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... then find someone that life gave vodka, and have a party...
I would say that some of the best things in life are free, but I have to pay for the internet to get on the space, so it's not free...
I like dudes with clean breath and running shoes. Ghosts don't scare me. People that hunt them do. I don't know Karate. I would like to have sex and laugh at the same time. I cheat when I play Monopoly. What the hell is a Sea Monkey? I have no holes in my socks. I am guilty of using the handicap stalls in public restrooms. I love breakfast at night, it's so wrong it's right. My fridge has no food in it. Only alcohol and condiments. I'm very protective over my friends. I jaywalk all the time. I don't own any "grills". Wait a minute, I do, but it's a George Foreman. I don't like dudes that fart in front of me. Or behind me. I will do almost anything just to have a good story to tell later. I don't hate anyone, but there are a few people that I would like to footsweep onto some tacks. I have a bamboo named Busta Rhymes. I dig energy drinks. I use my debit card more than I write checks. I don't write poems. I am a sentence finisher. Eye patches make me laugh. Eating your food when your not looking makes me laugh. I make funny noises when I yawn. I make up my own dance moves. If you hate me,I've given you a damn good reason. I talk too much. I'm a bad storyteller. Spinning in my desk chair makes me hurl, but I still do it. I love pizza...almost as much as the tums that I get to eat with it. A good morning to me is one that involves Diet Coke and chocolate donuts. I like coffee...a lot. The man outside the 7-11 with no jacket that asks me for change to get a 40, not a jacket...new best friend... his priorities are what they are. I love chai tea probably more than I love most humans. I like to laugh out loud. I am a mammal. I like Thanksgiving strictly for the fact that I can eat all I want without somebody saying "Don't you think thats enough food for one day?" My curly hair and I tend to get into fights...and it usually wins. I laugh inside when I hear someone stuttering really bad. Then I try to finish their sentence. Then I feel really bad for laughing. I dont like oreos for some reason, but I will kill for the last scoop of oreo ice cream. I really want a sunroof in my car, but I can't seem to find anybody who thinks it's not to expensive for an "everyday" gift. I like these stupid (...) things. I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, seriously, do it in English. I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?