Run Hot Like Fevers [danse de macabre] profile picture

Run Hot Like Fevers [danse de macabre]

To this prescribed nonsense.....we are losing them

About Me


Whoever said money can't buy you happiness obviously forgot about prostitution
Spandex is without a doubt, the best man-made thing on Earth.
Prostitutes go to Heaven. It's just their clients that go to Hell.
I hate people, and I don't like meeting "new" ones. They are all the same anyway, so what's so "new" about it?
And I am much more than just a statistic, babe.
"Welcome to the panic zone..."
I want you to....and I'm all yours baby.
lets drink to get drunk and tell each other everything for a drunken mind speaks a sober heart
A daily goal I have is to give the best hug of the day.
Here's where you ask the question: Do you know Constance Nicole Johnson? Do you really want to? Are you just glancing at reflections? I'm not the person I used to be. I know that I can be happy and have a good time sober (gasp). I feel as though the time has come for me to grow up and take responsibility with my life. There are many sides to me; most of which I don't even understand. So don't say you know me when I am still trying to know myself. I used to dream of modeling. That is, until I signed a contract. Then I realized a life of shallowness wasn't for me. Ever since, my idea of beauty has changed dramatically. It's not about being perfect. Your imperfections make you who you are, and who you are is what's truly beautiful. Since I've quit modeling, I've put on a few pounds. I have thighs, hips, and an ass now. True, some went to my stomach, but it looks good. I look healthy, I feel great, and I look better than I ever have before. I used to love everyone I came into contact with. Now I immediately have a strong dislike for everyone I meet. Persistance and a robust personality will be the only way for me to warm up to you. I am extremely contradictive. I am a control freak, and at the same time, a free spirit. I have yet to meet someone to keep me in check or have any control whatsoever over me. I pride myself in that. Now I have realized that no one can keep me in check. What I love about someone is that they can run amuck by my side and at the same time, make me want to stay in line. Anytime something goes wrong, I somehow convert it to being my fault. I don't want to see faults in the people I love, so I make it my own. I hold anger inside for as long as I can and convince myself that it doesn't really bother me. Then it explodes. I used to let my friends walk over me. Now I don't take shit from anyone, but I won't deal with it if it's not worth it. I drift away from people, because I'm through with living a selfish, carefree life. I'm growing up. I am sympathetic, but I do not care. Learn to grow. Learn to repair. I am a beautiful person, inside and out. Call me conceited, but I love myself; I just hate certain habits I have. I like a nice, chiseled jaw in a man. I don't know if that's odd or not, but that's my weakness. I am a modern gypsy. I used to go through men like crazy. I guess that made me a man eater? But now I've found one who keeps my attention. I have an attention span worse than puppies. Zach is my best friend. I hate that he lives four hours away from me. I used to live nomadic.I love to make other people happy, but sometimes I love to make them hurt. I have warmth knowing I have that much control over people. You may not think so, but it can go a long way. I can be detrimental or beneficial to your health. Take me in dosages. My mind goes much too fast for me to comprehend, and I wish I knew how to s l o w it down. I say what's on my mind and I don't care who I offend, but when it's what I'm feeling, it's such an ocean I can't swim.
And don't be so quick on the draw to judge me, for you only see what I choose to show. So cool your jets turbo.
panic, panic, panic, panic, panic, panic, panic, hysteria
I may be a naturally very happy person, but I'm also quick to deliver a nice "Fuck You." ..
I strongly believe in monogomy.
I make a lot of mistakes, and I hope you can forgive me for them and accept it as who I am.
Everybody is a star. You are perfect the way you are.
I don't like for people to know just how vulnerable I really am.
It takes a while for me to feel comfortable around someone, but you'll know when I am.
Ignorance is bliss....
But knowledge is power...
I want to be satisfied...
But satisfaction seems to be very short-lived for me...
I hate that feeling.
You know...That one of failure?
Yeah..It really doesn't feel all too pleasant..
So.. apparently I am that girl that the boys and girls love to fall in love with.. and then they get to really know me and then I am that girl that they love to hate... It's such a crucial cycle.....
My family is controversial.
Friends are fickle..
My biggest fears are attachment and heights. And that sense that I will lose all control. I am a control freak. Just not an extreme one. ..
I listen to everything. When I say everything, just trust me. However, I am hard of hearing...
I quit Wendy's.
I quit Steak N' Shake. First shift waitress. Then third. Now unemployed and giving people rides for gas money.
I used to love people. But becoming a waitress has made me learn to hate them.
I enjoy keeping my ears spotless...
I won't be friends with you. Don't expect it. I will be aquantices with you. I have enough friends. It's too dangerous to have too many friends.
I despise everything about catsup...
I am the healthiest sick person alive...
I am legally blind without my contacts and I am lactose intolerant...
Adrenaline rushes are what I live for...
I went to five high schools...
I'm hoping to be able to afford college soon...
I'm really smart, actually. I just am not challenged enough.
tHe fOuR NoBlE TrUtHs:
..
1. Life is suffering;..
2. Suffering is due to attachment;..
3. Attachment can be overcome;..
4. There is a path for accomplishing this.
QUOTES THAT DESCRIBE ME OR GO WITH ME LIKE PB AND J
Oh good, Captain. Adventure has arrived!
Hey baby. What's your sign.
It's got a good beat, and you can dance to it.
Chicks can't resist me.
That's a funny little cigarette.
I am the greatest.
What's it going to take to get you in this car?
Scotch on the rocks. Make it a double.
I can shimmy with the best of them.
My word, am I good looking!
Let's make it double or nothing.
Are you naked?

My Interests



LoveHateWorkPlayFriendshipSex

.."center"hate&hurt;
kiss&fake;..
.."center" love&lust;
talk&fuck;..

I love photography, doing other people's make-up, and any other art. I'm talented.

The media's the most powerful entity on earth. They have the power to make the innocent guilty and to make the guilty innocent, and that's power. Because they control the minds of the masses." - Malcom X

"Reality bites with a variety of sizes of teeth." - Tony Follari
You Stomped Me Out Like A Cigarette
Create your own Friend Quiz here

I'd like to meet:

I am through with giving people second, third, and fourth chances. You won't get them with me anymore. My best friends have proved themselves selfish and evil. People who I do not wish to associate with. I am through with being walked over and being taken advantage of. No more fake ass people. If you are real with me, and most of all yourself, then I will respect you more than anyone else in the world. If you have got shit to say, tell me. Don't pussyfoot and have me hear from others. I may be a bitch, but at least I've got courage. If you are using me for a ride, sex, money, just be real. You may just get it, and most of all you will have my respect. It's not so hard to ask for what you want. How else are you going to get it? If you do not fit these qualifications, then just keep stepping. I'm not interested.

No one, really.

people who see things like me. people who hate everyone.
anyone from the Priory of Scion

"I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It's just that the translations have gone wrong." -John Lennon
.. ..

"Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That's what's insane about it." -John Lennon
Thinking of you just makes me want to d i s a p p e a r faster....

Music:

Bob Marley is single handedly the greatest artist in my book. He cherished music, happiness, harmony, peace, and the gift of life.

My music list is much too long to bother writing.
This is one of my favorite songs...
I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldnt be that man I adored
You dont seem to know, dont seem to care what your heart is for
But I dont know him anymore
Theres nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
Thats whats going on, nothings fine Im torn

Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Youre a little late, Im already torn

So I guess the fortune tellers right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
To crawl beneath my veins and now
I dont care, I have no luck, I dont miss it all that much
Theres just so many things that I cant touch, Im torn

Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Youre a little late, Im already torn. torn.

Theres nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
Thats whats going on, nothings right, Im torn

Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and Im ashamed bound and broken on the floor
Youre a little late, Im already torn

Movies:

I like movies.

Television:

I have this TV in my room that has never been turned on. However, SCRUBS, Desperate Housewives, ATHF, Robot Chicken, and America's Next Top Model are all good.

Books:

This list is much longer than my music list.
Which is also quite long.

Heroes:


Any strong person.
Any person who knows what they want and go after it.
You.
Zach Silas (he tries so hard)
Mrs. Katherine Josh Henderson (I dont know her husbands last name. anyway, she is the first friend that i have ever had in my entire life)
My father.
My brothers.
Chet
My mother.
Shannon Barry. (she is so young and has overcome so much)
My Mountain Man. I respect him so much.
Ms. Brittany in Alabama (come back)
Dylan Woodall (he is the funniest person known to mankind)
Alex Poe. (my gay soulmate)
Lara and Josh Elmore (both truly wonderful and genuine people through and through)
Andrew Hopper (he goes through so many struggles and pain and still rises)
Kayte Oliver (she's so much older than her age and goes after what she wants and doesnt stop until she has it)
Jon Kelsey (because he is the biggest douche of all, but stays true)

Create your own visitor map!

My Blog

My top friends... Yes. I am getting all cheesy and heartfelt.

1. Zach - Oh my God I can’t even explain how much I love you. You are my best friend and I know that I can come to you for anything and that I can fully trust you with everything. You don’...
Posted by Run Hot Like Fevers [danse de macabre] on Fri, 14 Mar 2008 07:10:00 PST

See me morph into Scarlett Johansson!

...
Posted by Run Hot Like Fevers [danse de macabre] on Wed, 12 Mar 2008 07:49:00 PST

Peace out

I don't understand people. I don't care to meet new people. I hate everyone. I've lost faith in my friends. I've lost faith in my family. I've lost faith in myself. All I have is myself and the love t...
Posted by Run Hot Like Fevers [danse de macabre] on Wed, 20 Feb 2008 04:05:00 PST

When you’re on top

I need a bed, that nobody's slept in I need some air, nobody's been breathing I need a thought, that I can believe in Is this fog, or is the building really burning I need you, much more than ever I'm...
Posted by Run Hot Like Fevers [danse de macabre] on Wed, 09 Jan 2008 09:14:00 PST

And I just dont know anymore. And I dont know when I will again.

I have felt so much pressure in the last few weeks. To make up my mind. And I don't know much of what I want right now. What I do know is:   I want to go to MTSU in the fall. I want to find a per...
Posted by Run Hot Like Fevers [danse de macabre] on Fri, 04 Jan 2008 01:53:00 PST

The definition of a family

I thought I had it right. But I don't know anymore. It came to the point where my family became two opposing sides in a bitter war. The holidays roll around, and my parents want to have a family dinne...
Posted by Run Hot Like Fevers [danse de macabre] on Thu, 22 Nov 2007 10:12:00 PST

As some of you already know...

I got pulled over late Friday night around one thirty in the morning. Courtney was with me giving them automatically reason to search my car. I got pulled over because some of the tape on my tail ligh...
Posted by Run Hot Like Fevers [danse de macabre] on Mon, 22 Oct 2007 07:45:00 PST

For friendship..

I am trying to stay away from drugs. If you are a real friend, then you will stop calling me for drugs and respect me enough to not bring it around me. As many of you know, I am now prescribed to Klon...
Posted by Run Hot Like Fevers [danse de macabre] on Thu, 30 Aug 2007 09:00:00 PST

I'm done

with trying to gain people's trust. You either have it or you don't. And if you lose it, they will act like you have gained it back, and then they will continue to hold it over your ehad forever. Or, ...
Posted by Run Hot Like Fevers [danse de macabre] on Thu, 05 Jul 2007 08:07:00 PST

How

hard it is for us to stay alive. We are faced with the ultimate battles everyday, and those of use who stay strong, realize what's going on around us and the tremendous effects and consequences, and s...
Posted by Run Hot Like Fevers [danse de macabre] on Thu, 31 May 2007 10:20:00 PST