CAPTAIN JACKOFF!!!!!!!

I'M IN A BAND. I RIDE A MOTORCYCLE. I WORK TOO MUCH. I HAVE LONG HAIR, BLUE EYES. I HOPE TO SOME DAY BE A PORN STAR AFTER THE BAND MAKES IT BIG AND I MAKE A TAPE OF ME AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND THAT SOMEONE... J/K.... MAYBE.... I LOVE LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH... TO FIND SOMEBODY WITH A BOTTLE OF JAGER FOR ME TO GUZZLE, THEN BREAK THE BOTTLE IN THE SAND SO IT CUTS YOUR FEET... I LIKE GOING TO THE ZOO... TO FEED THE BIRDS RICE... I LIKE TO MEET PEOPLE, I'LL INTRODUCE MYSELF TO ANYONE BUT THAT'S IT, I WON'T SAY MUCH AFTER THAT. I DON'T LIKE SMALL TALK, A NICE "HEY, HOW ARE YOU?" IS ABOUT ALL YOU'LL GET UNLESS I'VE KNOWN YOU A WHILE. I'M NOT A REAL SOCIAL PERSON, I GO OUT AND ONLY TALK TO CERTAIN PEOPLE... UNLESS SOMEONE COMES UP TO ME, OR I'M DRUNK......