origin: to define myself in a short paragraph would be to put limits on my existance, in an all too annoying way. i believe that it is my birth right to defy and rebel against any authority, established order, belief or disbelief i feel the want to. with that said, i will make note of the fact that i am trying my hardest to do so. as of now, i am a psychology major. i find studying the complexities of the mind is, in a lot of ways, more fun than what i initially expected it to be. i am an active volunteer at AV Hospital. currently looking into more volunteer work in the aids/hiv field and will soon be leaving to work with african impact. i am an existentialist. basically meaning i am in charge of my own life and i am responsible for my own actions and choices. i love writing of all forms; it is something i have come to find joy in over the years. i love books as well; that is the best entertainment. im am one of the most open minded people you will ever meet. concluding this, i ask that everyone not indulge me in the antics of myspace statistics. i dont whore, i dont spam, i dont want it and i prefer messages. fanx.
au re voir.
-rollie.
i have been forced to elaborate on the rumors circling about me. i hate that my life has become such an important staple in peoples lives, that they feel they have to stretch the truth and/or make false aligations in regaurds to my personal life. in addition, i am also saddened that there are people out there that have such a dislike for me that they would make it their soul mission to try to befoul my name. and then to have them be so childish about it, picking at such trivial things. starting with my hair, why would somebody attack such a dispensible entity? to clear this up, my hair is real. i do not have a perm. i do not wear weaves, extentions, tracks etc. the next fallacious rumor would be that im "stuck up" and excessively self indulgent. let me first say, it took me a long while to get comfortable in my own skin. and now that i have, i refuse to give up that little bit of well deserved happiness. stuck up? how would anyone figure that im stuck up when they dont even know me. i have a very close knit group of friends and they all know that i am not, in any way, stuck up. i spent several days every week volunteering in a hospital, all through high school. not to mention spending time helping out in homeless shelters and countless other charity based events. whats so self indulgent about that? and about this being fake thing. i have heard innumerous falcities stating that i have had some form of cosmetic/plastic surgery or another. along with this i've heard that i airbrush all my pictures. now, i am into graphic design, and though i do know how to, i have not and will not airbrush something on my body that is a part of me. nor do i plan to alter my face with any type of enhancement, drug ect. as far as the subject of my dating life goes, i have most likely not dated anyone you know or have come in contact with. i have only officially dated three people in my entire life. the third of which, isnt really considerable in this topic. i am not a hoe, whore, slut, pimp, player, groupie, yamp, flip, or any other form of slang my generation has, so conveniently, come up with for the topic at hand. to conclude this, i want to send a message to all those who had a part in the creation of, and the prolonging of these rumors. stop worrying about my life, and start worrying about how to make a better one for your own. there are far bigger issues to tend to in the world. stop wasting time spreading lies about someone you know nothing about. why even entertain it?
philosophy.
6.11.07 - Envybest known as one of the seven deadly sins. but just how deadly is it? does envy drive us to want more? to success? to perfection? does it give us the will power to actually get up and do something for ourselves? or is it, in actuality, one of the seven most deadly evils known? the punishment for envy has been to have ones eyes sewn shut with wire, because they have gained sinful pleasure from seeing others brought down. this, in fact, is not a good thing. wanting to see someone brought down is low. but seeing someone doing good for themselves, and wanting to do better for yourself. is THAT so bad? if there was no envy then would there be want for a better life? i wonder we if would still be stuck in stone aged like eras. envy mainly applies to the want of what somebody else has out of belief that its better then what they already have. is it so bad to want more for yourself? or does envy make its bed as a void in ones heart, never to be filled?
6.5.07 - Free Will
rattled my mind over and over about this. free will. is it a gift, or a curse? since the start of time free will has been just that, a gift and a curse. while studying angelology and demonology, i came across things that made me think long and hard about it. angels were cast out of heaven, once granted free will, because they took acts against God. had they not been allowed to partake in these actions, then they would still be living a life under God in heaven with him. they were, however, granted free will. and in doing that God enabled them to do as they please. punishment was severe. eternity in hell. again i ask; gift or curse? if we didn have it, then nobody would be themselves. there would be no individuality, no morals, no personal goals or values or any of the rights that people take for granted these days. on the plus side, if there was no free will then maybe we would all be heaven bound. no broken hearts, no broken promises, no pain, no famine. are we better off doing as we please? if there was no free will would there be children starving? children without parents? if we didnt have a choice, then would everything feel right? or would everything be dull and meaningless? would we all be subject to wander the earth, with no purpose in life but to exist? how would someone feel, knowing that their living to die? but then, has free will caused the majority of the horrid things that plague our planet today? has it made it easy for people to kill one another? hurt eachother? destroy entire city's at the push of a button? or even given us the right to fall in love with whom we please? be what we want in life, instead of having that choice made for us? allowed us to pick our own destiny, instead of living out one thats being lived by everyone else in the known world? will it be the key that lifts us up, and makes the world a peaceful place, where everyone is happy and content with living? or will it be then untimely demise of our species as we know it?
hair?
people are so superficial these days, they look to the physical before they think to look to the mental. i am not one who likes to indulge in conversation about my hair. i do love my hair, dont get me wrong, but i like to think that i am much more then a boy with hair. i always seem to get labeled by my hair, and its been a little annoying lately. when do people get to the point where they are tired of looking at and/or talking about the physical aspects of others? that conversation gets boring after a while, so why not talk about things that are of more importance? i guess sexuality beats personality in every case, huh? sucks.
life support.
i was inspired to get involved with the hiv/aids epidemic. my goal? to teach. i believe the biggest problem dealing with the issue is that so many people are ignorant to fact. i plan to tell all that i know. knowledge brings understanding. when one understands, ignorance subsides. the featured video is not porn. watch and learn.
perfection.
i put this picture up, as well as the one in my pictures, to show people the beauty in flaw. these pictures are completely unedited. it's rollie, live, raw and without a hint of retouching. of course, my other pictures arent retouched iether, but i dont really have one as revealing as these are. why everyone feels the need to touch up there skin and other things on pictures, is beyond me. its false advertisement. its shallow. its insecure, and it shows just how unhappy people actually are with themselves. what most see as flaw, or imperfection, i see as beauty. our flaws, as well as what we consider ideal, make us unique. these are the things that seperate us, and make us special. if we were all "perfect" as most would like to say, then there would be no room left for individuality. i've never been one to dwell on the concept of perfection, because im such a fan of imperfection. i think everyone should learn to accept everything about themselves, the good, as well as what they feel isn't so good. in a way, i guess you could say, our flaws do make us perfect. they make us human. learn to embrace your flaws, and find the beauty in them. only when you can fully accept everything about yourself, and not be ashamed of it, will you be at peace with yourself. we come to love, not by finding a person perfectly, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.