I am not a captain like Captain Hook is a captain, I am a captain like Captain Planet is a captain.
Several years ago I was bathing in radiation to develop super powers, and tested a few things to see what powers I had developed.
I tried to flip a car, I couldn't
I tried to jump off a building, and hurt myself.
Just when I thought I had developed no superpowers, I was discussing this with a friend and telling them how cars are heavy and jumping off buildings hurts and they said "Duh captain obvious!"
At that point, I realised my true superhero potential, and Captain Obvious was born.
And so now I'm a cartoon character. I wear a cape, yet I cannot fly. The cape is there simply cos it looks cool really.