Hi it's me Rilly Bourne! Here's what you need to know about me. I am a natural born alcoholic, drug user who is very selfish, week minded, ADHD, paranoid, schizophrenic, bipolar, two faced stuck up @*&^$. That's me. In 2003, I was getting wasted before work one day and some new person at work told me "Jesus loves you". Ya, I just about laughed in his face. This person would tell me something different every day about God and even kept his bible right on his desk and quote scriptures to me. I hated it. I used to call him a dork. I mean your supposed to have chic magazines or car magazines, but a bible? Your a dude what's wrong with you?! This guy was different. He saw in me a someone I could not see. I couldn't wait to get off work and escape his countless attempts to invite me to church. If you knew me back then you would know church is the opposite of where I wanted to be. I wanted to be in my house with my friends drinking and doing other things I won't say on myspace. All the while I will admit to you I was beyond empty. So to get this bible dork off my back I listened to him one night. Ya, I got stuck for hours listening to his stories. He was trying to tell me he had been through what I am going through. I didn't believe him at all. I debated the bible with him for hours, and let me tell you he knew his word. Aside from his great gift of memorizing books, this guy had something else I wanted. It was happiness. Peace, and pure love in his heart. I mean you could see it all over him. Something besides his knowledge was giving this guy strength to tell me about Heaven. After many months, I finally gave in and went to church with him. That was the most frightening experience I have ever had in my life. All these people singing and stretching there hands out, too what? I felt kind of naked. I was sure everyone was staring at me. You know something happened to me that night, and the next day, and the day after that. I felt so different and it had nothing to do with church or this guy. It was like Jesus Himself was saying "look, look, I am really here looking at you, I love you, I want you to be free, stop fighting Me". I went home that first night after church. I felt so exposed as if Jesus Himself was on His way to my house right now and He would see all my dirt. I knew I had to do something right then and there. So I got a trash can and threw every filthy thing in my closet in it. I walked it to the dumpster and said "okay, Jesus, if your real take this and never let it enter my life again" I gave Him my everything that night. I mean what else do I have to lose. I thought to myself "with me in charge of me I have failed, but maybe with You in charge Jesus I can succeed." Anyone who knew me knows what happened to me that night and knows that person is dead. I have changed my ways in an instant. I except and realize I am nothing without Him. Here is me now; I am a Warrior! A princess in His eyes. I have been justified and sanctified for good works, I am beautiful, and strong. I can be someone! I am in control of me now and to be honest it is not easy. Jesus never said it would be easy. He just says He will free me from the bondage of sin, and He has. Now I am quoting scriptures, not because I have learned them but because they are alive in me. I am trying to walk the walk. It takes a strength that I have proven I don't have. He has this strength and came to earth to give it to me. So I will leave you with this... this strength is for you too. Call on Him. Galatians 2:20 "It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Rilly B...
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