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My name is Dustn Simms most people call me D-Sims or Dr. Sizzle. There is not a whole lot to know about me cause the first time you meet me it will be like you knew me all your life, but you will never forget me! I am the one who shows up late but I will make any dull time alot more fun. I live my life to the fullest, and the reason I do so is because of my great friends, supporting family, the greatest woman in the world and in my life Kelly and my biggest influence, hero and best friend Joe Taylor (T-Money) that past on due to a fatal car crash. But I try to make everything I do, I do it for him. Other wise really all I am is a simple man who loves VW's and everything in my life. I try to make the best of everything but sometimes the best really really sucks, but tomorrow is always another day.. Need to know more?.. "VeeDubMK3" is the screen name...

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Beirut (Beer Pong) House Rules

YOU MAY BE A AIR COOLED VW OWNER IF:

01. Your windshield wipers have two speeds, slow and slower.

02. Your heater has three temperature settings, off, high and none.

03. Strangers come up and say, "I had one just like this way back in..."

04. After a hard left turn you and your clothes both smell like gasoline.

05. You find straw under your seats.

06. Children slug each other when you drive by.

07. Your wife slugs you when you try to get her into the car.

08. Your air-conditioning consists of two windows down.

09. Dogs bury your car in the yard.

10. A bug hitting the windshield slows you down.

11. You can roll up the passenger window from the driver's seat without outstretching your arm.

12. The sound of the motor reminds you of your mother's Singer sewing machine.

13. The full service gas station attendant stands at the front and asks you to "pop ...the hood."

14. Your children are embarrassed to be picked up from school.

15. Oil spots accumulate readily under the engine no matter how short the time it's parked.

16. You know your mechanic's phone number by heart.

17. Children point and giggle shouting," Herbie!"

18. Your wife points and shouts. "Spare me!"

19. Your windshield washer system consists of hanging your head out of the window and spitting.

20. When you floor it, old ladies with walkers pass you.

21. People yell at you, "Get a horse!"

22. You have to use the owner's manual to find the battery.

23. The horn sounds like a duck with a sore throat.

24. Your VW mechanic named his first born after you

25. You have a bumper sticker that reads "Don't Honk, I'm Peddling As Fast As I Can!"

26. You pray for a strong tail wind and say three Hail Mary's when trying to merge onto the interstate during rush hour.

27. You don't have a clue what a radiator is.

28. You can't fully unfold a map in the car.

29. When someone asks you what kind of car you have, you lie.

30. When driving through curb high water, you have to pump the brake pedal and throw out an anchor to stop.

31. When at speeds between 40 and 45 MPH. the steering wheel and front end begin to shimmy and wobble like a washing machine out of balance.

32. Your local fraternity pranksters set it high atop the library steps.

33. You can see the road through the floor.

34. Your mother-in-law keeps asking, "Do you like this better than a real car?"

35. Your owner's manual is two pages double spaced.

36. The junk in your trunk is in the front.

37. It's adorned with peace signs and "Grateful Dead" decals.

38. Gusty winds decide which lane you'll travel in.

39. Your window defroster is your shirt sleeve.

40. You wouldn't trade it for the world! .

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A True Statement:

You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction.You call me "Whiteboy", "Cracker", "Honkey", "Whitey" and you think it's OK. But when I call you, Nigger, Kike, Towelhead, Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink you call me a racist.You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you, so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live? You have the United Negro College Fund.You have Martin Luther King Day. You have Black History Month. You have Cesar Chavez Day. You have Yom Hashoah, You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi, You have the NAACP, You have BET. If we had WET(white entertainment television) we'd be racists. If we had a White Pride Day you would call us racists. If we had white history month, we'd be racists. If we had an organization for only whites to "advance" our lives, we'd be racists. If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships, you know we'd be racists. In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us racists.You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists. You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society, you call him a racist. I am proud. But, you call me a racist. Why is it that only whites can be racists?

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A Illegal Immigrants Poem:

I cross ocean, poor and broke, Take bus, see employment folk. Nice man treat me good in there, Say I need go see Welfare. Welfare say, "You come no more,We send cash right to your door." Welfare checks, they make you wealthy, Medicaid it keep you healthy! By and by, Got plenty money, Thanks to you, TAXPAYER dummy. Write to friends in motherland, Tell them 'come, fast as you can' They come in turbans and Ford trucks, I buy big house with welfare bucks.They come here, we live together, More welfare checks, it gets better! Fourteen families, they moving in, But neighbor's patience wearing thin. Finally, white guy moves away, I buy his house, and then I say, "Find more aliens for house to rent." In my yard I put a tent. Send for family they just trash,But they, too, draw welfare cash!Everything is very good, Soon we own whole neighborhood. We have hobby it called breeding, Welfare pay for baby feeding. Kids need dentist? Wife need pills? We get free! We got no bills! TAXPAYER crazy! He pay all year, To keep welfare running here. We think America darn good place! Too darn goodfor white man race. If they no like us, they can scram, Got lots of roomin Pakistan.

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Andy Rooney said on "60 Minutes" a few weeks back:

---"I dont think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the UnitedCaucasianCollege Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door"

---"Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game"

---"I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?"

---"I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion"

---"I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off"

---"When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability"

---"I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!"

---"My father and grandfather didnt die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours."

---"I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you cant understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines".

---"I dont think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business".

---"We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations".

---"I dont hate the rich I dont pity the poor".

---"I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesnt stop you from watching them".

---"I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system thats better, and put your name on the building".

---"It doesnt take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little ass when necessary, and say "NO!".."

---"I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please dont pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I dont want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!"

---"I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I dont go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else."

---And if you dont like my point of view, tough...

---I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!

---"It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore I have a very hard time

understanding why there is such a problem in having "In God We Trust" on our money and having "God" in the Pledge of Allegiance. Why don't we just tell the 14% to Shut The Fuck Up and BE QUIET!!!"

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Dubs Are The Best Friends A Man Could Ever Have
You Have -530741238765 Friends
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