We’re the servants of the truest of gods, the almighty firstborn of the Tentacle Lords, the Bloodjakapuss. He descended to Earth 1.5 million years ago after breaking free from the prison of ice the jealous traitor Bloodjakagigantopithicapuss made for him after fooling the Slavejakapussies to his servitude. After being defeated and cursed to a one million year sleep by the Savage Garboth, it is now time to prepare the people of Earth for his return.... Be consumed in tentacles! Give your body and mind to the will of the Bloodjakapuss! What’s that? You don’t know how? Well it’s easy! You need merely listen.
The Bloodjakapuss home world, The Garkjakapuss, is scientifically known as Gliese 581d, it’s sun, Gliese 581, is an M2.5V Red Dwarf approximately 20.4 light years away.
