I like spontaneous events. I love to travel. I like to sleep even though i feel like I am missing out on things. I am allergic to bunnies and kitties, but still play with them regardless. i have a dog=nikki and he is the coolest dog ever, and a hampster= steve who is basically awesome too. I love it when a boy grabs my hand to hold it. I hate snoring even though i do sometimes. I love to cuddle. I graduated from a "ghetto" high school. I hate the fact that i smoke.... I love roadtrips. I am terrified of getting my heart broken again. I am completly unfocused on every aspect of my life . My parents live in Maryland and I live next door to my sister. My sister is crazy, but i still love her. I hate taking baths. I love super mario brothers. I hate pork. I love to cook, but i hate doing the dishes. I eat out too much. I am too picky. I'm fickle and indecisive. *Life without music would be a mistake* I can play 10 different instruments. Being a complete dork doesn't bother me. I actually enjoy it. I miss my parents. I am glad that my sister and i are closer now. i wish that when my parents say they understand... that they really did. I hope that some people wouldn't have to go through some of the things that i did. I wish i still mentored kids and coached soccer. I am addicted to suduko. "I've got some friends, some that i hardly know, but we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world". I am completly open minded, except for when it comes to folding my towels. I love to learn, when i am interested in the topic. I am too organized... but yet a complete mess.I wish i was all the things i said i would be by now and aren't. Raw emotion is what keeps me going. RIP DAN 9/27/81 - 12/2/06
Wriiten in November of last year:
Have you ever gotten that feeling that everything that you know is never going to be the same? That you just want to take a snap shot of your life as it is at that perfect moment, but when you go to take the picture everything changes.
One moment: Your 12 years old and your parent’s are arguing so loud that your walls are shaking. The posters and pictures on your sanctuary walls, that you call your room, are trembling and one of them comes rolling off of your wall, and makes a deafening crash. The only thought in your head is that you cannot go on living in this nightmare. Constant fights and dad always gone.
**You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along". . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt**
*Fast forward*
Another moment: You are two weeks before graduation. You are 17 years old; you think that you have the perfect life and the perfect boyfriend. Both of you decide to go shopping, but when you go to pick him up he’s drunk. You do not think anything of it, and you both get in the car and you start arguing so you pull the car down a back road so you don’t get into an accident and park the car. And he brings his arm up, and then down again. You wake up alone in your car in the middle of the night in the same spot you remember. You have to tell your mom you fell down the stairs at school.
**Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results. ~Anonymous**
*Fast forward*
Next moment: Your 19 years old. You meet the most amazing person in the world. They are everything you have always wanted to be. The thing that you wake up for every morning and think in your head “ I am the luckiest person alive.†And you wish with every fiber of your being for this to be the greatest thing that ever happens to you and you pick up your camera before it changes and…
**"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up."~ James Baldwin**
