and the freakshow parade marches on

If this is just another charade, like u pretending 2b interested then this is sufficient information for you to backstab & laugh at me. if you really think you care then you'll get to know me cuz trying to explain myself with a bunch of words obviously is NOT enough.
- i'm marian... - this girl is from the middle of fucking nowhere, which evry1 may think is a cool&hip place 2b, but it never was & probably never will be.
- i'm a FREAK & a loser
...and i embrace my weirdness. as well as my jedi destiny.
- i think i may be schizophrenic, slightly psychotic. i KNOW i'm (sometimes) paranoid & can be passive-aggressive - - don't worry they make me take my medication...lol
- i looooooooooove music: punk, EMO, garage rock, reggae, indie, ska, alternative... even selected pop songs. ('m only human & we ARE flawed). see me obsess about bands. can't live without a song to hum/sing & a surface to tap my fingers on when i'm bored...shit what can i say? i ♥ love ♥ music.
- i'm obsessive-compulsive focused
- i'm dysfunctional with a dash of hyperactive.
- I care about *Mother Earth*...an environmentalist, a GrEenPeace SolarGeneration volunteer. Global warming ushers in some scary scenarios, people. climate activists rock! also an ocean defender & bona fide tree hugger. give the planet some love.
- i'm nice to animals. peta2 supporters? u've got a live one here.
- i need to up my dosage at Christmas & family reunions
- mOst oF d tiMe i'm pOsiTive. part-time happy child. i laugh easily, smile at strangers (lol), LMAO when there's no reason to and grin/giggle when I'm lost, uneasy or confused (that last one happens a lot).
- i like my happy delusions, get off my case.
- wHen depressed, pisseD or frustrated i tEnd 2 b quiet, dArk, sArcastic & very bitChy moody. We can't all be Barney. Happy all the time & shit... I swear, that dinosaur is on drugs!!
- and no, i do NOT like to talk about my problems. i will rant about my feelings though.
- i tend 2b glass half empty (mostly in the mornings & after lunch but i'm FAR FROM STUPID. kinda nerdy, but way too superior to care - effin! lmao j/k
- just dazed & confused by all the drama
- perfectionist nerd who slacks more than studies
- i wish i were 16 again. young @ heart & possibly destined for a tragic ending. (sigh) let's stay young, avoid disillusionment & not be jaded.
- a DEEPLY DISTURBED, slightly frustrated person looking for answers (and not just for anatomy & physics tests)in this pieced-together film reel of emotions, comedies, triumphs, mistakes & tragedies.
- i ♥ starry nights & lazy sunny days
- wannabe poet?? i write stuff. words are my graffiti.
- taLkaTiVe & hELL nOisY
- a pErsOn of ContradictionS.. potentially hostile rebel intriGueD by anarchY, but who stiLL bELieves in dEmOcraCy & giving peace a chance. happy empathetic soul in a melancholic, bullet proof shell dripping with apathy. optimist with a dreary doomsday point of view.
- I think there r good & dark things in every person, soMe PeoPle r jUst mOre uPfroNt abOut it. i dislike hypocrites.
- reincarnated beach bum
- let's go vegetarian
- poverty, hunger, human rights, education, world peace & the happiness of every child are important
- iDeALisT & daydreamer
- likes dark chocolate, sitting around, aglio olio pasta, cherries, hanging out, bonfires, mixed drinks (especially the fruity ones), chips
- 4-eyed bookworm
- i'm a tv addict. i've been clean for 5 days and am on meds for this, too.
- i'd rather not beAt arOund d bUsh. I doN't Need bULLshit.
- nonConfoRmiSt slash wannabe dRumMeR slash eViLbItCh slash ReaLisT slash chronic doodler with a serious problem w/ authority
- i'm more of a night person. days are pretty, but i'm alert at night. plus i h8 waking up in the mornings.
- pseudo insomniac. check in with me at 5am.
- bigtime movie freak. i can't get enough of indie films, good documentaries, funny clips, romantic comedies & vintage flicks.
- i have an attachment to LoVe. treacherous & fatal, it abandons you - empty, naked & cold - on the bare concrete. another fallen victim of the cruel emotion. i'm sooo anti-love, yet, sadly, i end up a hopeless romantic
- dArK tHings intrigue & comfort mE... a little assurance that not all of us are perfect shiny plastic. i'm glad i'm not alone.there's comfort in the fact that somewhere there's another somebody wishing they were dead...
- i'm sMaLL
- i believe in soulmates & all that sappy, mushy crap. hey, it could happen
- i'm into sPace. evErything aboUt its beautiful dArkness fascinates mE. out from the black abyss comes beauty.
- sometimes wHeN i LaUgh i cAn't bReathE
- i LoVe sports. okay i like watching & trying them. not any good. haha
- i bELieve in GOD, aNgels, heAven, gOod&EviL.
friends
+ good conversation
+ alcoholic fruity drinx
beautiful moments
*undersTand b4 u haTe. know before u speak.*
*thEre's a rEason wHy we're Here & theRe's a reAsOn whY it's nOW...*
*SaVE d pLaNet! if iT diEs, we burn wiTh iT!*
*iF u aiN't difFerEnt, thEn u'r probably a clone. ugh, coNforMist!!*
even though i suck at playing them, i still love my drums because whatever happens i can count on them to express my feelings. it's a high, a release, my outlet, my rebirth. so i beat the shit out of them & end up with something that i (even though it's only I alone) can understand & relate to. when i play them, i find this sort of contentment&happiness that i might never find anywhere else. so why stop playing?? +iLoVeplayingTheDrUMS+
in the dark i find tHe soLace tHat lulls me to a dreamless slumber... in eVerY1 thEre is aN abySs, a bLaCk vOid wE wiLL nVr mAke uP fOr. tHe scArrEd oNes r bEautiFul & tHe fLawleSs plaStic r uNreAl.. dReAms r pOssibLe..
if you want to talk about me, say it to my face, you fucking backstabber (that's to no 1 in particular, unless u have something 2 hide. i hope the guilt kills u slowly)..
so why should i take your hand
when you can't promise happy endings?
pretty, dead, dark, fragile...
i support these causes. make a difference. effect change.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++