Ladies and gentlemen of the class of 2007…. WEAR SUNSCREEN! If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it! The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, where as the rest of my advice has no basis, no more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice NOW… enjoy the power and beauty of your youth… never mind… you will not understand the power and beauty of you’re your youth until they’ve faded… But trust me, in twenty years you will look back at photos of yourself, and recall in a way you can’t grasp now, how much possibility lay before you, and how fabulous you really looked… YOU ARE NOT AS FAT AS YOU IMAGINE… Don’t worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum… The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind… The kind that blindsides you at four a.m on some ideal Tuesday… DO ONE THING EVERYDAY THAT SCARES YOU…. Sing… Don’t be reckless with other peoples hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours… FLOSS… Don’t waste your time on jealousy… Sometimes your ahead, sometimes your behind…. The race is long, and in the end it is only with yourself…. Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults… If you succeed in doing this, tell me how…. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements…STRETCH…Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life, the most interesting people I know didn’t know at twenty two what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting forty year olds I know still don’t…. Get plenty of calcium… Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when their gone… Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t… Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you wont…. Maybe you’ll divorce at forty, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your seventy fifth wedding university… Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either…. Your choices are half chance, and so are everybody else’s… Enjoy your body, use it everyway you can, don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you will ever own… DANCE… Even if you have no where to do it but in your own living room… Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them…. DO NOT READ BEAUTY MAGAZINES, THEY WILL ONLY MAKE YOU FEEL UGLY…. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good… Be nice to your siblings, they are your best link to your past, and the most likely to stick with you in the future… Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on..... Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle…. For the older you get the more you need the people you knew when you were young… Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard… Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft….TRAVEL… Accept certain inalienable truths… Prices will rise, politicians will philander…. YOU TOO WILL GET OLD… And when you do, you will fantasies that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders… RESPECT YOUR ELDERS….Don’t expect anyone else to support you… Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out… Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time your forty it will look eighty-five… BE CAREFUL WHOSE ADVICE YOU BUY… But be patient with those who supply it.... Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing is way of fishing out the past in disposal… wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than its worth…. BUT TRUST ME ON THE SUNSCREEN!
