1. Elvis Kieth - ProfilesArchive

About Me

You seem to have some misconceptions about me...Let me set you straight*****Imagine someone that will always be there for you when you need them, someone that will always give you the advice that you need to hear, not the advice that you want to hear, someone that you would never ever question their loyalty to you. Imagine someone that isn't fake, a person that you always know where you stand with, no surprises and no agendas other than establishing a lifetime relationship, someone real. Imagine someone that will make you happy when you're sad, the person that you call because he'll make you laugh, even when you want to cry. He'll make you smile, and if you need him to be, he'll be the best part of your day. Now if you can accept that this person isn't always going to kiss your ass, isn't always going to be 'nice', and will call you on your bull-shit--then you can accept me.***** ABOUT ME: I will put up with A LOT from people, but I have NO TOLERANCE for rudeness, people who don't return phone calls, FLAKES, girl(pause)friends of mine that 'forget' all about me when they have a boyfriend, and hypocrites. I like cats. I am working on my autobiography(No one else can, right?). I can keep you riveted and entertained over the telephone for up to eight hours with stories, lessons, theories, or just listening to your problems and what you have to say--any longer than that, and I'll have to charge you overtime. I am the best listener. I won't judge you. That's a lie, I will totally judge you, but not before getting to know you and finding out who you are. I'll constantly make you laugh. There is nothing that I don't think I can do. Actually, I don't think I can dunk a basketball. I like to take the scenic route. You will get upset with EVERYTHING that I say--even when I'm trying to compliment you. I don't believe in a lot of things. I don't believe in luck. I believe in God. I'll believe in you. If you are one to believe in luck, I'm the luckiest person I know. Even when I lose, I win. I frequently wow the people in my life. I will wow you, guaranteed, but not before I make you wonder why the hell you put up with me--that's also a guarantee. I may not always be there when you want me, but I will always be there when you need me. If I am not already, I will be the greatest friend you'll ever have, but only if YOU let me give you the chance.

My Interests

I am a DIEHARD SF Giants fan, I love to play basketball, football, and I'm addicted to beach volleyball. I also tend to do a lot of karaoke. I've been doing martial arts for 14 years, I'm into cooking, working out, working, and animals, especially my cat(Chipper). I love watching squirrels. I've been known to pull out my guitar and sing a few songs, even though I can do neither. I absolutely LOVE telling a story. I like to write both fiction and non-fiction. I fear my future Presidential campaign will come undone by my checkered past.

I'd like to meet:

SLOW horses. FAST women.

Music:

A little bit of everything, My favorites are mostly older songs from the 90's, Tupac, John Mayer, The Cranberries, The Corrs, Alanis Morissette, Matchbox 20, Linkin Park, Blink 182, Third Eye Blind, Goo Goo Dolls, Vertical Horizon, Dashboard Confessional, Good Charlotte, Seether, Eminem, Counting Crows, David Gray, ColdPlay

Movies:

Get Over It, The Butterfly Effect, What Dreams May Come, Love and Basketball, Rushmore, The Last Kiss, Legends of the Fall, I HEART Huckabees, Cast Away, Clueless, Without A Paddle, Signs, The Little Mermaid, Thirteen, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Fight Club, Donnie Darko, American Beauty, The Shawshank Redemption, Training Day, Gladiator, High Fidelity, Old School, Good Will Hunting, 12 Monkees, Sideways, the American Pie movies, Vanilla Sky, Closer, Stand By Me, Romeo+Juliet, Major League 1 and 2, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, Office Space, A League of Their Own, Crazy/Beautiful, The Usual Suspects, Gone With the Wind, Cruel Intentions, Dirty Dancing, Lost and Delirious, Soylent Green. The 40 Year-Old Virgin was flippin' hilarious! Ferris Bueller's Day Off was the first VHS tape I owned.

Television:

I use the TV for two purposes only: to watch DVDs and to watch sports. I do watch Smallville and Sex and the City and Family Guy, all on DVD, of course. I have grown fond of Adult Swim.

Books:

The Virtue of Selfishness, The Time Traveler's Wife, The Stranger, A Separate Peace.

Heroes:

My Dad.

My Blog

The "S" Word

So for those of you that don't know the story of my dad: He's about 63 and his wife is 33. Not only is he 30 years older than my step-mom, but they have three kids(4, 2.5, 9mos.) with one more on the ...
Posted by Elvis Kieth on Sat, 23 Dec 2006 12:18:00 PST

It's not YOU, it's....

Well that's TOO BAD. It's not YOU, it's ALL OF YOU. Remember kids, like Gary the No Trash Cougar says: "When we interact with others, be cognizant that you have the ability to make someone's day. Unfo...
Posted by Elvis Kieth on Tue, 29 Aug 2006 09:03:00 PST

Old "About Me"

I felt the need to change my 'About Me' section, but of course, this part still applies. "I met Ike in highschool; he was a sophmore and I was a freshman and my main goal was to hit it with his siste...
Posted by Elvis Kieth on Tue, 05 Sep 2006 11:13:00 PST

The difference between being selfish and being a bad friend.

BEING SELFISH: "Love and friendship are profoundly personal, selfish values: love is an expression and assertion of self-esteem, a response to one's own values in the person of another. One gains a pr...
Posted by Elvis Kieth on Mon, 11 Sep 2006 08:54:00 PST

Acorns can't buy you happiness.

"Its just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. Then the winter c...
Posted by Elvis Kieth on Sun, 03 Sep 2006 03:21:00 PST

FU[K!N9 GIANTS

FUCKING GIANTS!So I listened to the Giants piss away another season last night....Off topic, well sort of. These are quotes that I actually heard real people use yesterday, "game used" if you will.3. ...
Posted by Elvis Kieth on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 01:34:00 PST

My Sports Center Highlight!

Imagine: A tall, skinny guy walks towards the refrigerators in back of the store and grabs a can of Coca-Cola. A short guy follows him and as they come down the wine aisle, the short guy grabs a bottl...
Posted by Elvis Kieth on Sat, 10 Jun 2006 12:13:00 PST

Remember when?

Remember when Rob Schnieder used to mop and clean the deli at Mission PZ?
Posted by Elvis Kieth on Sat, 27 May 2006 09:11:00 PST

ANGEL OF THE YEAR?

Well, well, well my LOVELY co-workers that's FIVE count them 1-2-3-4-5!! consecutive Angel of the Month awards. Now I'm not cocky about it at all(actually I am =P), but I just think that it's funny th...
Posted by Elvis Kieth on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST