I present several radio shows in the North of England, write a semi-humorous column for The Guardian newspaper, and am the author of a book called When Will I Be Famous?, which sold respectably for a month or two without troubling either the Booker prize judges or the bestseller lists.I am currently trying to write another, which is probably why I am on here, it being the most wonderful new displacement activity. In the old days when I was trying to build myself up to do some work, I would have had to be drinking coffee and eating digestive biscuits.I have four children and a wife, whose name escapes me for the moment, and am well into my middle years, so the main focus of my life at the moment is wondering what size obituary I might get in The Guardian, and looking after my prostate. The best medical evidence indicates (I am not making this up) that cherry tomatoes and masturbation are two of the best things for an elderly prostate, which is fantastic because they are two of my favourite things, right there. I enjoy both as often as possible, although obviously not simultaneously. Those tomato seeds make a bugger of the bedsheets.
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I'd like to meet:
Anybody interesting, funny, and especially anyone who would make a good guest on my radio show in Leeds or Manchester, UK.
