Tables & Chairs

The tables and chairs guys were eating cheeseburgers when they decided to buy the rights to every inch of film containing a shot of Partrick Ewing. This afforded them a trip to Cairo, Egypt. They took a boat ride down the Nile. Marcos found a tree. He climbed to the top and dove into the river. He did this several times and he became so good at it that people were visiting Egypt just to see Marco’s excellent dives. Brian wrote a song about it and named it chicken shawarma (?). Stevie got bored so he started building homes out of clay in the shape of pyramids. He lived in one and began giving spiritual advice to the locals. Brian’s mom called and told him that he and friends need to get there butts back to the US because she, acting as manager, booked a nation wide tour with America and Talk Talk and they had three days to get ready. Marcos didn’t want to leave so they drugged him and stole him away in the night past the guards down the river and they boarded the nearest jet. They put sunglasses on Marcos and tied each one of his legs to their legs with his arms around their necks they walked him through security and onto the jet. When Marcos came to, he was not happy... but then Brian gave him a gold medal for his diving skills and bought him a Guinness. The trio had made such an impact on the hearts and minds of Egypt that they were sent 13 hours of all-expenses-paid studio time. And Egypt had effected Stevie so much that during one of the first shows of the tour he did a 17 minute drum solo where a cloud of smoke in the shape of a turkey hovered above him. Stevie was disappointed because he wanted the cloud to look like the Buddha. Marcos is in minor litigation with Egypt to join their Olympic diving team but with all the new success for Tables & Chairs he may not have time. They’re going to have guest appearances from DJ Scott La Rock and Tom Verlaine on they next album. Brian is dating Lori Loughlin and for two reasons -- for one, he bought some really good cologne in Egypt and also because he beat Jacob Nosewater in a liatard wrestling match. It is being discussed that they have more influence over the British youth of today than Johnny Hates Jazz. By Ian Poston I edited my profile with Thomas Myspace Editor V4.4 (www.strikefile.com/myspace)