Rippin

Single...work hard, play harder!!!!
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Rippin Rich
Birthday: I was nekked from the very start
Birthplace: a feces-littered camel stall in Katmandu
Current Location: in front of the computer, stupid
Eye Color: poopie brown
Hair Color: brown and littered with baby birds
Height: taller than your average bear
Right Handed or Left Handed: righty on Friday night...lefty on every other Saturday
Your Heritage: German/Irish with a dallop of everything else
The Shoes You Wore Today: elf shoes with bells on the tips that curl up at the toes...THEY RULE!!!
Your Weakness: a woman with a neatly trimmed beard, a patch over one eye and sporting a full diaper...rawrrrr
Your Fears: losing my virginity in truckstop in Alabama
Your Perfect Pizza: pickles, olives and mushrooms topped with deep-fried monkey balls dunked in blue cheese...YUM
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: to go potty all by myself like a big boy
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: does this diaper make my ass look big?
Thoughts First Waking Up: who the hell are you looking at, knee-grow?
Your Best Physical Feature: the webbing btwn my 2nd and 3rd toe on my left foot
Your Bedtime: just after the crying stops
Your Most Missed Memory: can't remember, damnit
Pepsi or Coke: I prefer toilet water from the local YMCA
MacDonalds or Burger King: one cow ass tastes like anyother...it's all cannibalism to me
Single or Group Dates: I don't do orgies...on principle!!!
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Jim Jones Kool-Aid
Chocolate or Vanilla: is this a racial question??
Cappuccino or Coffee: I'd rather drink llama vomit
Do you Smoke: only when I don't use lube
Do you Swear: f*ck no, you silly goose
Do you Sing: I tend to sing opera, but only when squatting over the bowl
Do you Shower Daily: no, I am harvesting a delicious brick of frumunda cheese in my oversized underpants
Do you want to go to College: no, I am waiting til after retirement when I have the time
Do you want to get Married: marriage is for homosexuals in Vermont
Do you believe in yourself: I did until the 5 year old next door told me to go F myself
Do you think you are Attractive: yes, when standing next to Ernest Borgnine
Are you a Health Freak: popping Viagra like tic-tacs keeps me young
Do you get along with your Parents: my 3 dads are the kewlest!!
Do you like Thunderstorms: only when the lightning rod is properly inserted
Do you play an Instrument: does blowing into a milk jug while listening to The Statler Bros qualify?
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Aqua Velva and tonic is da bomb!!
In the past month have you Smoked: No, thankfully I have a healthy supply of KY
In the past month you have been on : a Sybian
In the past month have you gone on a Date: yes, and I haven't been able to sit down right ever since
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes, I was shopping for a handbag that matches my elf shoes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Why would I eat a white guy standing btwn 2 black guys? And a box of them? That's just silly!!
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: no, but I keep some handy in my great-aunt Silvia's bloomers
In the past month have you been on Stage: yes, with a donkey and a mule in Puerto Villarta
In the past month have you been Dumped: yes, on my chest and it was rancid!!
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: once in the fountain at the mall
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: yes, the heart of Phyllis Diller while sharing a wild night in Paris
Ever been Drunk: there was a wild night w/ Nick Nolte that comes to mind
Ever been called a Tease: only when I wear my frilly skirt and the stockings with a line up the back at family functions
Ever been Beaten up: hey, that old hag had a wicked left hook
Ever Shoplifted: there was this incident at the pet store once with a hamster that went terribly awry
How do you want to Die: Dunno, but I wish to be buried ass up to give the kiddies a place to park their bicycles
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A ruthless dictator of a completely deserted island in the Pacific
What country would you most like to Visit: South Florida
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: red & bloodshot
Favourite Hair Color: white and falling out in clumps
Short or Long Hair: yes
Height: 3'9-3/4"
Weight: 420 lbs with a healthy appetite and an irritable bowel
Best Clothing Style: feety pj's with a trap door in the back
Number of dumps I have taken: ewww that's just wrong
Number of CDs I own: many...all Liberace, Pat Boone and Wayne Newton CD's w/a smattering of Paul Lynde comedy albums
Number of Piercings: 2 in each nipple making a total of 7
Number of Tattoos: one Keep On Trucking tat on the small of my back
Number of things in my Past I Regret: 6,943,679,327...give or take