I live in Safety Harbor, Florida. It's near Clearwater. I was in a relationship with a very confused person...James...it has now ended, he just doesn't know how to give up lying...
The beach is my favorite place to be, except for the fact that i hardly go anymore. I work and run my own business which im beginning to hate because it steals all my time.. nevertheless i have my -BS Degree in Tropical Horticulture w/a specialty in Herbology and Entheogenic Plants. . No issues with being gay. I dont like drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc. Street drugs suck. Entheogenic plants, however, take on a whole new meaning...ability to travel to other worlds, out of body experiences, and visiting with ancestors is something, a practice that has been going on since "us." I kind of think of love the same way... and ya know, i truly desire to love, and i do...i love everything. I so desire to share that love with someone.. Im not looking cuz it just doesnt seem to work that way... I just do loving things, i try to do them all the time and it leads me down right paths in life and hopefully it will lead me to that special "you." Until then, i always seek to become a better person, and be more kind and loving towards other people and living things.
"Pain in the breaking of the shell that encloses who we really are"...and it sucks but is part of life. And in my search for many things, including a some long term relationship... I read this cool section of a book..... and then i added my own segments.
My heart naturally longs for wholeness, beauty, and perfection. I practice good deeds, all the time. I do so many good things for people and it just seems most are in some kind of mind-fuck mode.. So anyway, speaking of, i have a wild spirit inside me, if it goes to wild--well my ex-friends in Oregon can tell you all about it... Let those dark alleyways recycle and rejuvenate...I never claimed to be perfect, far from it. The only way that i can and will guard myself against repeating my past and the forces of projection will be through ruthless self honestly and a willingness to break habits and admit to mistakes...I love you,,,,all of my friends in Oregon and Brazil... I miss you and hope to see you again. My friends here in Florida, I love you too. Im getting to know some very cool people here, and that kinda of stuff just takes so much time. I call it personality beaurocracy and i hate it, but its all part of the process and so is so much pain....Most of my family live in Michigan, just outside Detroit and Ann Arbor. I havent seen them in a long time, but i do love them... and will see them soon... By the way, Im a good runner too... see my photos of the two races i ran this year.. The Red Ribbon and The Say No To Drugs 5k races.. i finished in 2nd Place at both,, overall place, im going for first.. Last year, i have run 815 miles.. but now im working a lot..like 50-60 hours per week..no time to run esp. during the summer... plan to run more october on... night running is the best.. I love driving, road trips, and just bought several ways of transportation..just go see photos if you care about that.. I was in college for Architectural Drafting. Clearwater... I finished class now and am working full time, doing landscape design and tree service...:)--update,,which is what im doing now..!!!
so lets see,,,,dont do drugs (did but dont),,,unless ummmm unless.... ummmm unless,,ummmm unless.. and love yourself....
I run a business in Horticulture...its been difficult lately because of economics and a horrible leadership in this country...but still doing very well..despite. .Bottom line, i definitely long for a boyfriend..someone to love.. Someone that is fuckin honest, is that possible??? It is seemingly, no..not possible. My heart tells me otherwise.. Also, if everyone has to go thru their "thing" which probably involves screwing themselves as well as others---seemingly everyone goes thru it.. well, then thats ok-if your not in the same damn repeating cycle of it! Which alot of you are, and that kind of shit hurts. It hurts you, it hurts me, it hurts everyone around you. Dont you realize this??..You all know who you are. My spirit doesnt break down...ive been thru my hell and back.. i know it, can recognize it, and stay way way way away from it. Anyway, im very in touch with my feelings, moreso than my thoughts..which makes me the way i am... so really, until i meet someone thats similar in that fashion- at least, then i just do whatever i do..without you. im successful now.. doesnt mean it'll last forever, nothing does. But one thing that has been forever, with me, forever---is my longing for love. How to get there... all clues lead to honesty as a fundamental beginning to anything, even oneself..so thats where im at. if your not, then i cannot deal with you.. I also can deal with young people, you have too much growing to do. 25+ only...even thats too young but whatever...
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