I iz guitarist for Lazër .
Ice von Shredula rose from humble beginnings. Born in a small thatched hut in the hills of Okinawa, he was the eigth child of proud parents Rikimaru and Ayame Shredula. Ice was a quiet child, but what he lacked in words he more than made up for in skill. Considered a ninja master at the age of six, Ice proved to be a valued member of the Shredula Clan. However, on his ninth birthday, tragedy struck. During a rival clan's raid on the Shredula Dojo, Ice’s parents and siblings were killed, and Ice was left to fend for himself.
The mean streets of Okinawa were a cruel and swift teacher for young Ice, and he quickly developed into a very crafty pickpocket. He would ask tourists for the time, trip them up, and before they knew it, he’d have their wallet, their watch and maybe even their lady. One of Ice's most prized acquisitions was an electric sitar he took from Takayuki Otsuki, a wealthy musician from the region. It was with this sitar that this tortured, homeless orphan from the hills of Okinawa found his voice. He was often heard playing on the roof of the local fishery shortly after dusk. Ice has claimed that his audience of bats were the closest thing to a family he knew during this troubled time.
However, just as lightning never strikes the same place twice, a thief eventually meets his match, and Ice found his in an envoy of King Lune’s from Trakai. The envoy, Aresheesh, caught Ice red-handed and promptly took the orphan back to Lithuania. King Lune was prepared to condemn young Ice to death for crimes of high thievery upon a member of the royal court; however, Lune’s son, Prince David - an only child who longed for a playmate - pled with his father to spare the orphan’s life. The King granted David’s request, and thus a beautiful new friendship and charmed life for the orphan from Okinawa began.
It was in Lithuania that Ice grew to become the highly efficient musical killing machine we know today. Prince David and Ice perfected the arts of horseback riding, archery, hunting, cliff diving, and shred-sculpting by day and lived a nightlife that was the envy of the entire Eastern Bloc. The world was truly their oyster, and David and Ice really liked the taste of that oyster. They didn't eat the world, they just liked their lives a lot. Many weapons were mastered and many women were pleasured during this period, but the screams of delight were soon replaced by terrified shrieks as war plagued the kingdom and King Lune was assassinated by invading Nazi Pirates.
Ascending the throne, King David appointed Ice von Shredula his minister of defense, and under their guidance, peace was restored to the land. The new leaders vowed to better prepare the country for future attacks, leading to the formation of Camp Shredula on the island of Trakai. This functioned much like a traditional summer church camp, except instead of Bible studies, campfires and marshmallow roasts, the campers were taught many forms of self-defense, forced to undergo rigorous tests of mental endurance, and subjected to various acts of intense physical punishment. Successful completion of these "boot-camp" phases allowed entrance into the Music Assassin Program taught by Ice himself. Many would fall by the wayside, but one boy, a mute Rhinelander, made it through all the courses successfully. That boy's name was Keinhorst Kwiatkowski.
Keinhorst would take the knowledge he gained at Camp Shredula with him when he returned home to Rhineland, implementing it into the band he formed with friends Hammel and Briso . The band became known as Lazër , and the music was like nothing that had ever been heard before. The trio exploded onto the scene with their debut album Let Me Dance You, but Keinhorst's untimely passing shortly before its release left a void in the band that seemed impossible to fill. It was then that Hammel and Briso called on Ice, Keinhorst's former mentor and the world's most well-renowned ninja guitarist, to join the fray. After a string-melting solo on their worldwide-smash single "Night Moves," Ice became a permanent member of Lazër, adding just the right touch of danger to the sexy mix the Speedo-clad techno-rappers had created.
Ice has made quite a journey in his short life, from orphaned youngster to dangerous playboy, military leader to rock demigod. One can only guess where he might go from here.
