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jess

jessissexonlegs

About Me

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i ' m j e s s !
i always go red, but i never get embarresed
i have a sock fettish
i will yell and push you into the road if you're about to stand in dog poo
if im holding paper i have a need to rip around the edges
and i say "bumface" far too much.
theyve taken the fridge away. theres just bushes now.
I like tractors and big diggers
i like fancy dress
most of all, i like onions.
once upon a time there was a toad called dora. this was quite an unfortunate circumstace because dora was a toadman. one day, dora went to visit his girlfriend flora on the top of the lily pad, however, he should have stayed at his house in the bottom of the poo parlor because flora had texted hhim on his phone that hed left in his house saying "im so sorry dora, but i just cant handle the way our names rhyme. im moving to alberquercy tomorow at 05.36, im sorry it had to end this way." dora was devestaed. he decided to travel home and get some moral support from his toad father. this prooved to be a bad idea because he came home and walked in on his dad having gay sex with neil the eel. dora confronted his dad, and his dad replied "well we were going to ask your mother if she wanted to join in" dora found this a poor excuse. he decided that he really wanted to get his parents back together. he went to his mum and told her what he'd seen. his mum replied " he was doing WHAT? thank god. that means i can fineally bring home trish the fish" dora was astounded. he thought, well. if i have two gay parents, why dont i be gay to? with this new strategy, dora travelled back to his poo parlor. he went on the newternet and searched out a gay dating website. little did he know it was actually meant for lesbians. Dora found a lovely looking frog called bert. they arranged a date at the lilly pad at 8.38 that evening. when they met up, dora was shoceked to see that bert was a womanfrog. similarly, bert was shocked to see that dora was male. they had a long in depth chat, and decided it would be better for both of them if they had sex change. they went to the splurgary together, swapped genders and fell in love. the end

My Interests

-facebum
-twatface
-ghandi
-one on the front, one on the back.
they put the tingle in my toes.

I'd like to meet: