juders

Whoever you are, if anybody actually reads this, if I were you, I would leave this page. I'm a nobody and a nothing. There is nothing interesting about me. I don't even know why I'm on myspace except for the fact that I'm really bored all the time and there's always a computer in front of me. But if for some reason you want to know something about me, read on. I'm going to get deep, I'm warning you. Just don't judge me please. No man should judge another man, it's not a right that we as humans possess. Yet for some reason we do it anyway. And forgive my ranting. Ummm... I don't have any friends, really. Well, I guess I do KNOW people but nobody knows me. I don't have anybody I can just talk to, you know, nobody to just listen to my words or something I might say. I never have. I talk to myself a lot when I'm alone and I'm alone all the time. I guess I'm a recluse, a loner, if you will. Always have been. I like to lose myself in books, movies, and music. Not necessarily in that particular order. I get so involved and enmeshed in them that I forget that I ever existed for a moment. It's great, you should try it sometime. My family thinks that I'm really smart and I guess I am. I never really had to try in school. Everything came naturally. But I think I waste it. Nothing challenges me therefore I challenge nothing. I should probably do something about that. What else... I'm very athletic. I'm stronger than most people, physically, even though you would never know it by looking at me. I surprise myself sometimes. But it's great because everybody underestimates me and I try to use that to my advantage in certain situations. I love to work out at the gym and go running in random places. I've had girlfriends in the past but they always leave me once they really get to know me because I'm kind of a weirdo. Not a weirdo in the sense that everybody calls themselves a weirdo and they think it's cool, you know? Some way to separate themselves from everybody else. No, not in that way. A weirdo in the sense that puts me in a place by myself, if you understand what I'm saying. I guess you don't, but once you do, you'll understand why I'm always alone. Yeah, girls have never been that interested in me. I treat everybody with respect and I always think of others before myself but we live in a world where everyone only cares about themselves so I'm stuck in the cliche of "nice guys finish last" and it's so true. I can't escape that but it's better than being selfish and uncaring for my fellow man so I go on. I'm a really hard worker. I devote myself to my work when I'm at work but once I leave the office, I instantly forget I ever worked there until the alarm clock wakes me up in the morning. I see beauty everywhere I go in this world but I also see degradation. I feel that we as men (and when I say men, I mean mankind as a whole) are a doomed species. We are heading towards extinction and there is nothing that can be done to change it unless something drastic happens. And nobody else recognizes this except for a select few. It's maddening but I'll get to that later. I love to travel and I do it as often as possible on my budget. I want to see the world and all it has to offer. Every country and land and island, I want to see it. There is too much this world has to offer to stay in one spot your whole life. It's a waste of life to do so and I feel truly sorry for people who have never gone out and explored this vast terrain we call Earth. I love to experience things that I've never seen or felt. Expand the horizons, live life to the fullest, all that jazz because no matter what anybody says, when it's your turn to move on to whatever may be after this existence, there was NEVER enough time. There was always more to experience and feel and see and I want that void filled when it's my turn. I want to die with my conscience clean and with absolutely no regrets. I guess that I'm a good man. Well, what most people would call good even though I don't give two shits about what most people think. I want to be great though. Great in the sense that people think of Alexander the Great as great. But I don't want others to see my greatness. I don't want to be looked up to or idolized or rich because of my greatness. I want it for myself, unselfish and pure. I guess I strive for perfection even though I understand it's a relentless and unending goal. Obviously, no man can ever achieve perfection and that brings me back to degradation. I love history and being a student of history I've learned how man has fared through the ages and I've come to the conclusion that things have gone from bad to worse to catastrophic. We, men of this final age, are horrendous creatures, the worst thing that has ever inhabited this planet. We are parasites, infections plaguing something much greater than our egotistical selves. We destroy, corrupt, cheat, lie, deceive, maim, rape, and murder anything and everything we come into contact with and this earth is trying to shake us off yet still we persist and still we ruin our home with no regret. We think we are the higher entity on this planet but what about the planet itself? What about the other species inhabiting it? It's atrocious. Look at the air. It's supposed to be invisible yet we can see it because it's filled with smog and pollution and we have to breathe it. Look at our ozone layer. It protects us from something that would kill us instantaneously if it wasn't there, yet we destroy it despite this knowledge. Such a lack of respect. We've created nuclear weapons that are capable of something way beyond mass murder. We invade and steal other peoples land that they have occupied for thousands of years. We exterminate whole races of other human beings on unconscionable levels. Who are we that we think we can get away with this without any consequences? I'll show you our consequences. Cancer invading every part of our bodies coming from God knows where. A.I.D.S. and all sorts of disgusting S.T.D.'s stemming from the same unknown source. The common cold mutating into a more deadly strains every year. Evil men running whole countries unable to cope with the power at their disposal and using it for complete and utter wickedness (why should one or a few men have such control over other lives and the way they have to live them, it's so sad!). Earthquakes and all sorts of "natural disasters" killing millions and us thinking that our Earth is acting normal, and the list goes on and on. This earth weilds power far greater than anything that we could ever create. It's gross disrespect for life and future lives. We just don't care. We turn our heads to it all. We're desensitized to everything around us and I don't want to be a part of it. And yet I'm forced to because I'm here and so are you. We think we're progressing in this whole scheme of things yet when you break it all down, we've gone backwards. Our technology that we depend so much on has become the ruination of our diverse ways of life and we deserve anything and everything that may befall us. But enough of this because I could go on and on. I'm not a dooms-dayer, I just open my eyes and see what is really going on around me. Don't get me wrong, despite my feelings on this matter, I still love every day of my life, every breath I take, I'm thankful for. It's just... where is the peace and love among all mankind? It's just a dream...