Ali G

Me woz born in da heart off da Staines ghetto. I has lived wiv me Nan in Staines at 37 Cherry Blossom Close from da day me woz born, coz wiv both me parents havin been smoked, dere werent no one else around to look afta her. Me has been carin for her ever since. Me woz failed by da skool system and hated every minute me spent in da classroom. In fact added together, dat time woz probly da most borin 3 hours of me life - altho me do still go to a skool re-union every second Monday at Staines Job Centre... As well as bein unemployed - i iz also got a lot off well important careers. As head of Da West Staines Massive, me control da most peace lovin and violent gang in da hole of Barkshire. Afta happearin on some crap programme dat woz on at 11 a clock or somefin, it werent long before me ad me own show. Dis meant me was able to take a in depf look at a lot off serious issues.... I iz now easily da most respekted face on Brittish telly and it iz probably only a matter off time before me get offered me own slot on Channel 5 - or hopefully even cable...