I'd like to meet:
CLIFF!
Thatcher.
Eh? Vyvyan, why do you want to meet HER?!
So I can blow her up.
Oh, right. I thought you were going strange *snort*
For me, it'll be any dolls.
And I want to meet Krishna!
Neil, nobody cares who YOU want to meet! God, you're so boring!
Alright, alright, don't get all heavy again Rick.
RICK
Anarchy! My section for all my cool hip anarchic happenings! Right on! Well my name's Rick as you already know (and if you don't know then you're a bit of a poo-hole because it says my name at the start of this paragraph). I live with three complete and utter bastards who you can find out a bit more about if you look at their sections. But I wouldn't recommend that you do, because mine's so amazing and better than theirs. And you never know what you'll find if you go anywhere near anything that Vyvyan's been interfering with. You might lose your head. Literally - that farty-breath Thatcher has bombs wired up all over the place! The other day, I went to the toilet and there was this huge bomb disguised as a number two in it! So I went and weed in the garden so I wouldn't set the bomb off! It was all a bit mad and anarchic, really. I'm mad, I just don't care, I'd throw a water balloon at Neil and I just wouldn't think twice about it! I'm just completely potty! And--Vyvyan, give me the pen ba~~
VYV
Hallo you bastards. First things first: this is MY bit about ME, so if you are called Rick, Neil or Thatcher - piss off. I am Vyvyan Basterd or Vyv. I am better than Rick and if you say I'm not, I'll smash your face in. Rick's a complete bastard, my attempt to kill him with a bomb in the lavvy unfortunately didn't work. It should have done but unfortunately he spotted it, even though I disguised it really well. I like curry and lager. Oh yeah, I'm a med student too, it's grate being able to cut up people and play about with drugs. And I nicked the skeleton from the lab. I've invented a potion to cure axe-wielding homicidal maniacs, so I'm going to be famous. If not, I'm going to be a top model and marry Prince Andrew. Before you go on to the next bit, I’ll tell you something that might save you - don't read anything else that Rick puts. It's all bollocks.
NEIL
Boomshanka. I'm Neil Pye, and, like, I live with three of my friends--well, they're not really my friends, they all hate me and don't appreciate lentils like I do. In fact, living with them is a bummer, because they're all really horrible and it's a drag just being around them. In fact, I think it would be better if I just went and killed myself now because life is full of bad vibes and heavy happenings and I hate it. In fact, it's so heavy that I keep saying "in fact" at the start of my sentences. This website has got really bad karma man, Boy George forgot his karma chameleon when he came to visit so it's all uncool at the moment. You go and read up on Mike, I'm going to go and try to nail the last nail in on my crucifix (which probably won't work because it NEVER does, it's so negative).
MIKE
Hi chicks, Mike TheCoolPerson here. This MySpace is like a jacuzzi - hot and bubbly and sure to give you some enjoyment (and I don't mean laughing at the bubbles and pretending they are your farts, Rick). Anyway, about me: I'm 6" tall, have got lots of money, am great at sex, am very handsome, am most definitely not a virgin and I'm looking for any dolls to come and hop into bed with me. So if you're available (or even if you're NOT available), come to my place and I'll teach you the true meaning of love. No guys please - see Rick for details on that, he'll be glad to oblige.
