Well, in case you haven't noticed I am the prettiest kitty in the world. Seriously, there is no cat better looking than me. I am a 4(aka-early 20's) year old Korat and I live with my momma, Sarah, and my new official 'daddy'. I was born in Lansing and then I was given to some white trash drug addicts that made me model for money, then they sold me to a cat whorehouse...I thought this was bullshit so I stopped eating and was able to fit thru the bars and off I was.
While I enjoyed life on the street, summer was ending and it was starting to get cold at night...I knew I was cute enough to pretty much pick where I would reside. I went to several houses on my adventure until I smelled a familar smell...as it turned out three were 13 people sitting in this house smoking pot so I knew this was a good time to make my apperance. They let me stay the night and then put me back outside...I knew 3 of the 4 girls that lived there wanted me so I kept coming back...soon after the 4th girl, my momma now, became obsessed with me and here we are today.
The cool thing about Sarah is that she knows how pretty I am but lets me live life normally, aside from the bitch taking out ALL of my claws, shes way too lazy to figure out how to exploit me for money. She is still obsessed with me but I think it's cute, and most street cats aren't so lucky. The other theory is that I was a lost small gray kitten named Ashley, but as Sarah has said, 'Dude, if they were responsible and loved her they would have had a collar and ID tag on her, fucking retards.'
I also have 5 children. I don't like other cats and basically don't like them...but I do have to say another cool thing about Sarah was that while everyone thought the kittens we so cute blah blah blah...Sarah was still all about me and wanted me to get away from those little tit suckers to sleep with her...I explained in good time I would be all hers.
Ok, so these kittens...since I chose to live with potheads there was no money to get me 'fixed' when I went into heat my aunt Kristen let me outside, Sarah was afraid I wouldnt' come back so I made sure I did...anyway needless to say my animal instincts took over my smartness...I nailed the first moron that came my way, which would explain: Lenny, hes retarded and now lives in Gerogia, he couldn't tell the difference between me and my other son, Rumsfeld(we'll get to him in a minute). There was also Elliot(mr. fabulous) who is gay, but I love him very much and so does my momma!! He's a very sweet, sassy boy! I also have 2 twin daughters; Fiona, who lives with Elliot in North Carolina with my aunt Mackenzie(shes retarded as well) Fiona bless her heart is sweet, but totally stupid, not retarded but just a ditz and that's annoying too. Now on to my least favorite kid; Diva, what a bitch. She tried to bite my momma and hisses at people...I pride myself on the fact that non of my kittens have ever bitten a human except her...they say its a phase but as Sarah says, 'Diva is the reason people don't like cats' Now onto to my pride and joy, Rumsfeld, he is all gray like me and is by far the prettiest and smartest of all my children. ALthou he is a protestant republican(I knew I should have been more careful with who took him!) and I am a Jewish democrat we keep politics out of our conversations. I have no desire to see him since he kept sucking my tits until he was 5 moinths old!!!!! I like to talk to him but he is a total mommas boy and meows like a little bitch. The other problem with my kids is that NONE of them could survive 2 fucking days on the streets, pussies.
A Survey for Pets!
What type of pet are you? The prettiest Korat in the world...
What is your name? Smokey
What other nicknames do you have? Smoke the cat, pretty girl, Smoke nest monster, Smokey asshole, and most recently my new second name; Kitten
What is your favorite treat? potato chips
What would your owner describe you as? PRETTY!!!
What is the funniest thing you have done? Fallen thru a cieling
What is the bravest thing you have done? Been out on the streets of EL
Yes or No
Are you neutered? hell yes
Are you a social animal? Once you're in my 'cricle of trust'
Are you always doing something bad when nobody is looking? I try to...
Are you friendly? to my momma...
Are you overweight? HELL NO-As if!
Do you like warm milk? naw
Do you eat cheese? naw
Do you eat bugs? of yes, I love them
Do you live with other animals? Yes, a little fuckfaced kitten named Raj
Do you like being in the house more than being outside? NO-I want to be outside all the time
Do you like to exercise? once in a while, but i don't need to
Do you like car rides? no, especially in the cage
Do you get into stuff? everything I can!!
Do you get along with your mommy or daddy? Mommy-YES, Daddy still has some work to do...
Do you like to swim? not ever-I hate kitty wipes
Do you chase laser pen dots? oh sure, but they always break
And finally, Do you love your mommy or daddy? I love my momma!! Except when she's holding Raj...
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
