Chris

Full Name: Constable Beebins G. Wexler
Nicknames: Chris, Balboni, etc.
Parents-Married or Divorced: intar-locked!
Siblings' Names: Jeff.
Birthday: Yes, yes I do.
Birth Location: A fiery chasm of puppies.
Location Now: Northwestern Sovie- er, U.S.
Work: Warkwarkwark.
Job Description: Moving small, colorful objects around a large building.
Dream Job: Making 29.97 pictures a second in a 2 hour long, coherent fashion. Preferrably entertaining.
First Celebrity Crush: This one time I stomped on Levi after we made War.
The person that understands you no matter what: Miek.
Who did you want to win the Superbowl?: HOW I SHOT WEB?!!
One thing you want to do before you die: I suppose living is up there.
Have you had any injuries?: Ever wonder how much someone has to be failing at life to use two punctuation marks in a row?
Name some of your favorite things: *points at general interests* Thar be redundancies about!
Name some of your least favorite things: JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION. GET IN THE CAR.
Taking the picture or in the picture?: Stealin' is bad. :(
Name a lesson you have learned recently: Going up to Kung's old house alone would be traumatizing.
Do you believe in love at first sight? What, like anthropomorphic specifically, or inter-species? Because the latter is just wrong.
Biggest pet peeve: Sometimes at work people talk to me like I'm an inferior being. But then I picture them on fire and giggle inside, so it all works out.
If you could have one job (and you had all the skills) what would you choose?: The kind where people throw money at me for having fun.
Your Views...
Religion: Calling atheism a religion is like calling bald a hairstyle.
Abortion: If I were to suddenly find a fetus in my stomach, yeah, I'd find the nearest clothes hanger.
The War: So this one time this guy pretending to be president made up reasons to invade a country, later admitted to doing so, and the people in said invading country stared at him blankly and did nothing to stop him from continuing a senseless occupation. Win!
Gay Marriage: WHERE?!
George Bush: We have differing views on the constitution- I think it should be respected, he thinks it should be used as toilet paper. But hey! Everyone is entitled to... Er, wait.
Gun Control: Oooh I remember back in the day when guns roamed the prairies all wild. What troubled times, where a .357 viciously pounced upon a 9MM, where M16s cannibalized their own mothers... The horror, the horror...
People suing fast food restraunts: Epic fail.
Marriage: Because scribbles on a legal document is how love should be summarized. And how!
The Other Half (The Opposite Sex)
What do you prefer: Context.
Are you single or taken? *Looks around* Well it certainly does appear that I'm single.
Hair Color: Their hair is usually colored, yes.
Eye color: See above (look! --- two puns; I'm just a riot aren't I folks).
Looks or Personality: Better have the latter to back up the former.
Love or Money: Emotions are exactly like small, green colored pieces of paper!
Like it when they play hard to get?: It rocks. Just like falling down a flight of stairs.
Afraid of committment?: NOBODY INVITED YOU, T. GTFO.
Relationships or Hook-Ups: This one time I hooked up a hard-drive and we now have a good relationship.
Perfect date: DD/MM/YY. Only commies use MM/DD/YY.
Define LOVE: The yelling... No... Halp. :(
Define SUCCESS: Learning when capitalization is appropriate. So, completion of 3rd grade.
Favorites...
Song: Naming just one is like choosing a favorite child, and then throwing all your others in a woodchipper.
Movie: See above, in addition to the list on the left.
Quote: "dnot mak me eagel stirke ur ass" is up there, but... See above.
Car: I rather enjoy my S-10.
Restraunt: Taco Bell. Because sometimes you crave meat at 1 am.
Smell: Taking a big hit of Bounce has always been a plus in my experience.
Shoes: Nike. I do it for the children.
Magazine: What r readin materials?
CD you own: As far as sheer bang for my buck: 10,000 Days by Tool. Excellent album, 3D artwork plus glasses, and the greatest toy EVER if I should decide to take up acid.
Beverage: Ones in liquid form.
Food: Is delicious.
And one interesting fact about myself is.... My SPOON is TOO big...
I also run this site: http://www.stupidchronicles.com
...And have made these videos:
Have You Passed Through This Night? (shot from June-August, 2007)
Lament of the Half-Cyclist (August 2007)
Dead Winter Day (Shot in winter 2006, completed winter 2007)