For my birthday I received a recording of an astrological reading done by a woman in Kansas City. This present came after years of believing that it was too much trouble to go down to the town hall of New Haven and request a copy of my birth certificate so that I could establish the precise time that I began walking beside you people, and chart myself accordingly. Recently I walked into the town hall, gave a lady $5 dollars and got a copy.
So, I gathered loved ones around to listen to my magic unfurl. Sometimes they became distracted, began talking among themselves about things that did not involve me, so I had to refocus them.
I will share with you some of what I learned:
1. I am similar to Oprah Winfrey, Jesse Jackson and the Dalai Lama. This means I am pretty superior in alot of ways.
2. Another thing about me which will fascinate you is that, my life's passion will be my work, and similar to the ancient and beloved genius poet/philosopher, Rumi, I will touch masses of people through my creative and humane efforts. When I die, my legacy will effect even more, my prolific passages about human issues will make a little girl in a now free Tibet, say to her mother, "Mama, it makes me understand... I am ready for death at anytime now."
3. Ladies and gentlemen, I also offer the bittersweet result of all of my efforts in the humane, for your pleasure. It is said by this simple woman from Kansas City, that I will die, an unmarried whore. A lover of many but a wife to none. I would argue her point but as of yet, I've no evidence to the contrary. May I point out, that the great O' that is Oprah, is unmarried and living a life of some inportance with a fellow named Stedman, who seems, hung like a horse. Also, Jesse Jackson seems like a big player and the Dalai Lama is so above it all he needs not the morning fondlings from an old hag to give his life meaning.
I'd like to meet:
The d.j who saved my life last night, my second grade science teacher mr. green who lived on a houseboat like Quincy and smelled of cigarettes and old spice, someone who cuts hair well, former child prodigies, apparitions of medieval soldiers who have secrets to tell
Movies:
Anne of Green Gables, Meatballs but only on Xmas Eve, all the other movies that cool people list and a few that they don't know
Television:
..[if !IE]
..[endif]
Books:
High School Yearbooks, French to English Dictionaries, Our Bodies Ourselves, River Phoenix Hearthrob, My First Christmas in Mexico, my best friends diary from the 8th grade
Heroes:
Dolly Parton, The Golden Girls and Dorothy Parker
