If ignorance is bliss, then I'm the nation's biggest blister.
Hi! I am Velma Jean Gentry and I am so happy to be here at the MySpace place. I am sorry I don't have some pictures of me to post right now, but I got to get my bouffant puffed up just right for my MySpace photos.
So why am I here now? Because I am in LOVE! I found the most handsome, most sexy, most DE-licious hunk of a man and I want to meet him so we can be married, or at least mess around some. Plus I just LUV to gossip!
Who could this BRUT of a man be? Well, as much as I do love Burt Reynolds, he is just too old for me. But this newly-found wonderful speciman of the male species is so HAWT. You should hear his purty English accent.
Now I will introduce you but do NOT try to take him away from me. His name is:
Guy Ripley!
This handsome guy is a reporter for BBC News. It is not just that he is handsome. He has the most sexy accent!! Mr. Guy Ripley is so DE-licious! At least I want to find out. From what I hear he might be in North Carolina in a few months to promote some brand of malt liquor called "Cobra Starship." I looked for some tonight at the L'il General store but couldn't find it. So I guess I'm gonna have to go to one of those more sophisticated stores like the Piggly Wiggly or Food Lion.
My dream is to meet this hunk and take him back to the trailer park, where I am the president of the trailer park social club.
I hope that Mr. Guy Ripley finds this MySpace and joins me at the trailer park here in Horneytown, NC, to watch a double feature of Cannonball Run and Cannonball Run II. And maybe he will hang around long enough to watch Smokey and the Bandit with me!