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Children are helpless bundles of love. Every parent gets frustrated with their child, it comes with the territory, and they would be lying if they said it never did. But knowing when to walk away and calm down is important. There is a line, a thick very noticeable line, which is hard to accidentally cross, between discipline and abuse. As long as people are able to see and tell the difference between the two that is what is important. Then and only then can we move to fix this epidemic.
When it becomes a concern of yours that there may be some abuse going on, it is important to not take the matter lightly. Abuse is something that will haunt people for the rest of their lives. If you decide to first question the proposed victim, it is important to make the person feel as comfortable as possible. Take it from me; I was so scared of my dad growing up that even when asked point blank I would lie about it. One thing I hope for is one day Child Protective Services will realize when they are talking to a child, to make sure the parents are not in eye or ear view of the child. Many times, me included, children are questioned about whether or not abuse is going on while watching their parents staring at them through the window, or being in the next room listening. You have to make sure the child knows she can trust you. Children need to trust you will try to fix the problem, and also in the fact you are not just going to go back and tell the abuser everything that was said and then leave. Many times the child wants the help but is afraid to say anything and what makes matters worse in a situation like this is when the abuse victim knows that people know, and do nothing to help, because it really makes the person feel worthless. Like it doesn't matter what happens to them.
Child Abuse is a major problem, and what makes it worse is it is something that is completely preventable.
Taking classes for a temper, parenting classes, or even just asking a friend for help does not make you a bad parent; if anything it makes you a better one because you recognize there is the need. To quote Smoking the Bear and to put a twist on it, "Only you can prevent child abuse." Do your part.
Although there are many formal and acceptable definitions of child abuse the following is offered as a guide for information on child abuse. The first step in helping abused or neglected children is learning to recognize the signs. The presence of a single sign does not prove child abuse is occurring in a family; however, when these signs appear repeatedly or in combination you should take a closer look at the situation and consider the possibility of child abuse.
PHYSICAL ABUSE - physical force or violence that results in bodily injury, pain,
or impairment . This includes: hitting, kicking, slapping, and shaking, burning, pinching, hair pulling, biting, choking, throwing, shoving, whipping, paddling, and punching.
Some signs of physical abuse-
Unexplained burns, cuts, bruises, or welts in the shape of an object
Bite marks
Anti-social behavior
Problems in school
Fear of adults
Drug or alcohol abuse
Self-destructive or suicidal behavior
Depression or poor self-image
SEXUAL ABUSE - Any sexual act between a child and another person. This includes fondling, penetration, intercourse, exploitation, pornography, exhibitionism, child prostitution, group sex, oral sex, or forced observation of sexual acts.
Some signs of Sexual Abuse
Inappropriate interest in or knowledge of sexual acts
Seductiveness
Avoidance of things related to sexuality, or rejection of own genitals or bodies
Nightmares and bed wetting
Drastic changes in appetite
Over compliance or excessive aggression
Fear of a particular person or family member
Withdrawal, secretiveness, or depression
Suicidal behavior
Eating disorders
Self-injury
EMOTIONAL ABUSE- Any attitude or behavior which interferes with a child's mental health or social development. This includes yelling , screaming, name-calling, and shaming, negative comparisons to others, telling them they are "bad, no good, worthless or a mistake". It also includes the failure to provide the affection and support necessary for the development of a child's emotional, social, physical and intellectual well-being. This includes ignoring, lack of appropriate physical affection (hugs), not saying "I love you", withdrawal of attention, lack of praise, and lack of positive reinforcement.
Some signs of Emotional Abuse
Apathy
Depression
Hostility
Lack of concentration
Eating disorders
NEGLECT - Failure to provide for a child's physical, emotional and educational needs. This includes lack of supervision, inappropriate housing or shelter, inadequate provision of food, inappropriate clothing for season or weather, abandonment, denial of medical care, failure to educate, inadequate hygiene and exposure to domestic violence.
Some signs of Neglect
Apparent lack of supervision
Unsuitable clothing for weather
Being dirty or unbathed
Extreme hunger
Child abuse consists of any act that endangers or impairs a child's physical or emotional health and development. Child abuse includes any damage done to a child which cannot be reasonably explained and which is often represented by an injury or series of injuries appearing to be non-accidental in nature. It's good to know what to look for, and to try to recognize the signs, but it's also important to keep in mind that sometimes, there really aren't any. Parents can be pretty clever (welts and bruises in areas covered by clothes), and the child may not display any outward signs of abuse.
National Sex Offender Registry -
Over 1,000 registered offenders report a new address every day. Did one recently move near you? Click the link above!
