Add me on Facebook, I don't use this anymore:
IM me: AgentRElliotte.
I have saved the world from mass destruction numerous times now. One time I was at Fort Riley, clearly named after me, when I was attacked by a bunch of ragging lunatics. I'd say there were about 1,000,000 of them. I'd also say it took me under 10 seconds to brutally murder them all in one blow. I once invaded a flying SR-71 Blackbird, took out all the crew, then instead of just landing the plan, I straddled the jet's wing, ripped off a sheet of metal, then parachuted myself to safety. Soon after the SR-71 Blackbird crashed into flames, I roasted marshmallows over my victory. President George W. Bush has me on speed dial, he calls me up whenever he needs another Zombie Apocalypse taken care of. Of course since I travel at God-like speeds, this isn't a problem arriving at the White House in a matter of seconds. Every time you hear about tornadoes or hurricanes on your television, that's really just me running somewhere to save something. The Government created these illegitimate names to cover for my ass. See, when you're so kickass like me, people will do that for you.