The Cereal Killers are a Death Metal/Trance/Country fusion band from Zimbabwe. The members are natives of Canada and The United States of America respectively. The band claim to be from Zimbabwe because "Zimbabwe" is actually the word for "People from Two Nations" in the African language, in which all the band's members are completely fluent. When they were reborn as The Cereal Killers in late 2006 in a demonic compression chamber on The Frozen Wastes of Cania, the 7th Hell of Baator, from the compressed and fused spirit of 12,000 demons, the members of the band knew that bloodshed was really beside the point. They realized that only through achieving the widespread terror that only global domination of the music, automotive, and packaged meats industries can bring, could their goals and dreams become manifest. So, to that end, they picked up instruments--of music and of conquest--and began a journey fraught with glorious contradiction: a journey of both great joy and great rage. .......The journey to Grand Rapids, Michigan. There, they had coffee and talked about life...the things that made them happy...the things that made them hurt. Then they picked up the pieces and moved on. To the next town, whose name is unimportant. There they had coffee again. Now they're a band. Your favorite/favourite band. Because they give you no other option. Now...on your knees, filth.------------------------------------------------Testim
onials:"One time, I saw some guy in a freakin' COWBOY hat walk up to The Cereal Killers after a show in Pensacola. He said he didn't like their music and he thought they were America-Hating fags. One of the took a guitar and hit him so hard with it that his skeleton turned to a strawberry smoothie. It was super."
--Esteban Rodriguez. Pensacola, FL, USA"Ziss guy vent up to ze band, Ze Cereal Killers before a show vunce in Shtockholme. He told zem zat zay vuh hees favoorit bahnd. Zay vuh soooo touched und flattered, zat zey punched his facen so hart zat money ceased to exist. It is a great honor to be destroyed by Ze Cereal Killers."--Gerty Begerlunde. Stockholme, Sweden.
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