Cosmic Dave

From ever since i can remember, ive been able to heal arses!!!! I remember when I was a young teen, I was a regular at the Walton Hop, Jonathan King used to watch me moonwalk, this one time he offered to give me a lift home in his white rolls royce, when I was in the car he took off my farah..s and went to buggerise my ring. I said "Oh do you have any vaseline?" he said "Spittle will do for you boy!" and the king rammed me in his roller using only his schlong and spittle, it was over so quickly, afterwards he lit up a cigar and I stroked his rainbow coloured afro wig...memories. From here on in I was blessed with magical, mystical powers that enabled me to drink a full bottle of brandy in one night all to myself you peasants.