I enjoy the simple things in life. I spend most of my day sitting around the house and wait for Jeff or Randy to get home. When they're not around I watch a little TV or have the crew over for a little R-n-R. I have a blue Frisbee that I love to chew up and leave little pieces around the house for Jeff to pick up. Oh and I have this sad "Cute" face that I put on when guests come over so I can get the sympathy. It works most of the time. However, I did have this crazy hairy woman ask if they ever took me for walks or fed me. I'll tell you... Somebody needs to take that woman for a couple walks and put some food in her belly! I mean have you seen my body!? I'm a damn fine piece of work!
I'd like to meet Lassie so I could bite her fucking head off! In case you've never met Las I'll fill you in on a little secret, SHES A SLUT! I met her a couple years ago at the Bone Yard, a local hotspot here in OC, and she was all about the doggie style if you know what I mean. What a little whorebag! I saw her by the big oak tree with Petey, by the hydrant with Spot, by the trash can with Bruno, and behind the car with Snoopy! That's right, and you thought that Snoopy was this nice lovable canine. You thought wrong! He is so caught up in the scene. What a fucking looser! Hey Snoopy, You're washed up! You can't cut it as an actor so you go and get a job as a spokesman for MetLife!? I'll tell you what... Met life... More like, Get a life!
Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, Temple of the Dog, Dog Eat Dog, Dog's Eye View, Snoop Dog, Bloodhound Gang, Breeders, Trick Daddy, Tricky and Marcy's Plaground for the song Scooby Snacks! And we all know what Scooby Snacks are don't we!?
Wow... TV… That’s a hard one. Well, I’ll start by telling you what I hate. I hate watching the Jetson’s because of that dumb ass Astro. I mean come on I know some dumb dogs but they went a little far creating him. There is one canine that never did get a much play, Bandit. Bandit was the slow motion pet running though the open fields on the “little house on the prairieâ€. Bandit had it all but from what I hear he’s on to small side jobs now because back then they didn’t get residuals when episodes reaired. Oh and how can I forget Barky from South Park… Much love to you Barky! Call me... We'll go out and grab a milkbone.
Books!? In case you didn’t notice… I have no fucking thumbs! And this means I can’t turn a page. Therefore I can’t read a book. It doesn’t bother me one little bit either it really looks like a boring pastime.
LAIKA!!! I know you probably don't have a clue who this is but let me educate you a little. Laika was the first living creature to orbit the earth and YES Laika was a dog! Laika(‘barker’ in Russian) blasted off aboard the Soviet Union’s Sputnik 2 on November 3, 1957. With no way to bring her back to earth, she, yes I said she!, became the first creature to give her life for the exploration of space. Not the smartest bitch but still did more for the canine family then that want-to-be Goffy.