Mr.Tetanus - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm Mr.Tetanus, the human pincushion. I sometimes travel incognito under the name Pierce Lancelot. Things got pretty wierd for me after I totally misunderstood a brochure about Iron Knob. Since then I've ended up performing in 2 freak shows and live on pain killers and blood transfusions. I work with Circus Bizarre and also run Circus Psycho, with Matron Lee patching me up so the show goes on. Stainless Steel accounts for nearly half of my body weight, and my favorite movie is full metal jacket. I live on a staple diet of, well... staples. My favorite quote is "sometimes I feel a bit of a prick", and usually manage to avoid picking up girls with lines like "I bet you've felt more pricks than I have". My favorite drinks are alcohol and Dettol. Thanks to humans inventing the rabbit trap, I own a cat with fewer than the usual quota of legs, and possess several metal teeth marks across my face. Life is good, and one day mine will stop very suddenly. Or very slowly, in which case it will hurt and I'll most probably cry. (as my mother does every night). ..I'm gonna add a new bit here. Almost a bulletin thingo, which I'll try to keep updated.I spent a great night with a group of old friends last night. Just chillin' with some really nice coffee (OK, so I like to make coffee, OK?) a couple of superb wines, and the best paella I've ever made, with lots of fresh seafood. Full of musselly goodness. I only mention this, because it makes me realise what a great collection of friends I've managed to gather around me over my life. Not just the ones I was with last night, but ALL of my friends. Sure, some have their days, but they know better than to bring their baggage to the House of T, unless it's for some one on one advice.Good friends, with a common goal of creating good in the world (Perhaps with the exception of the real Mr.Tetanus- He BAD), and enjoying themselves while they do it.I will raise my imaginary glass, and propose a toast...To Love, Life, and Friendship.(clink)

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Someone who can sit through one of my performances without throwing up or passing out, who enjoys intelligent conversation and the more than occasional beer. (Oh, and someone who doesn't want a relationship). No, bugger it! I want someone who can give me porn. Nasty, nasty porn. And they have to have a sister. a good looking one. and no dogs.I hate dogs. Ever walked out into a dog owner's back yard on a hot day? You KNOW what I'm talking about. No Jebus freaks. No salesmen. No racists. Biggots. Hawkers. Indian telemarketers. ANY telemarketers (to demonstrate that I'm not racist). People who want to borrow money. If you are one of these people, don't waste my time. Just keep wasting your own. Having said that, the rest of you wonderful people are welcome to pop by for a chat any time. We'll sit and chat over a cold beer and not answer the phone because we all know it's not a real person on the other end. "Would you be liking to be trying our new product, sir?" "Hang on, I'll get the guy who lives here" (put phone down and go back to lounge with friends and beer) "Hello? Hello sir?... Are you there sir?.........bugga"

My Blog

Shit!

Packing to leave for Brisbane in the morning.Moving into a new studio.Exhibiting in France.No time to shit.No shit!T
Posted by on Wed, 17 Sep 2008 10:27:00 GMT

The Studio

Well, people, some of you may be wondering where the hell I've been. Others of you may well be grateful that I seemed to have fallen off the edge of this shitty little planet.Well, the truth is, I've ...
Posted by on Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:04:00 GMT

"China Doll" (or "the little story that wasn’t")

I was bored so I started writing a story that I knew was never going anywhere. It would be kinda nice to finish it, but I couldn’t be naffed trying to figure out where it could possibly go. It&r...
Posted by on Tue, 18 Mar 2008 18:27:00 GMT

The rise and fall of my best friend.

When I was a kid, and I'm talking maybe 10 years old, I used to spend a lot of time roaming the neighborhood with the kid from next door. He was a year younger than me, but was taller. Everyone was ta...
Posted by on Wed, 16 Jan 2008 15:59:00 GMT

Patience pays off.

There are many things in life that come across as being daunting to the extent that we're reluctant to dip our toes in and take a feel. Mortgages, for instance. I bought my first house for $62,000. It...
Posted by on Thu, 10 Jan 2008 12:45:00 GMT

Death

I just found out last night that an old friend of mine died. His daughter found him out in the back yard. Apparently he'd been there for nearly a week.I felt sad for his daughter who found him, and th...
Posted by on Mon, 26 Nov 2007 15:28:00 GMT

All Healed up.

The SackIs Back!
Posted by on Wed, 21 Nov 2007 20:06:00 GMT

Mr.Tetanus: When things go horribly, HORRIBLY wrong.

I've been putting off writing this blog until I could think of a way of telling the story without making myself look like an absolute idiot. I've now come to the realisation that the facts are the fac...
Posted by on Tue, 30 Oct 2007 20:10:00 GMT

The Bar Fly

This is just a message that I sent to one of my performing myspace friends.It's not much, but I thought it was worthy of posting, just to let you peek into my head a little.It's friday night. Over her...
Posted by on Fri, 19 Oct 2007 02:44:00 GMT

Maslins- Death of an Icon

We have much to thank Don Dunstan for, and I'm not just talking about introducing hot pink shorty shorts to parliament.Remember the days of the 6 O'clock swill? Probably not, but until Dunstan came al...
Posted by on Thu, 18 Oct 2007 01:54:00 GMT