**[All Hail]Thee Goddess**

I'm Not Hidden... You only need to look in my Eyes!!
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*~This is Who I AM~*
Im a mother.. a friend.. a lover..
Im an Ex, Im a dream,
Im a liar who knows shame..
Im a cheater who knows the meaning of poor judgement..
Im a sinner who wants to make it to heaven..
Im a muse.. A fallen Angel who forgot her way home..
I am strong in my moments of weakness..
I am weak in my moments of strength..
I cant see the future and i try to forget the past.
Ive been abandoned.. Ive been found..
I have been rejected and accepted.
I have wished for death.. I have wished for one more
breath.
I have Loved so deeply that my heart has shattered in his
absence..
I have loved so casually that i spent more time wondering
why I can't fall again..
I have hurt myself.. I have healed myself..
I have made mistakes that i can never take away..
I have hurt people that I never wanted to hurt..
I am selfish and yet so giving..
I want to change the world.. I forget about changing
myself.
I have very few close friends.. and yet I would do
anything for a complete stranger..
I am a hypocrite..
I have done things that have turned me into my worst
enemy..
I know shame.. I know pride.. I know regret.. they are
roomates to my soul.
I know the love of a child.. the love of a man.. and the
love of oneself..
I have dreams that i dont want to wake from..
I have nightmares that wake me crying..
I drool in my sleep when im really tired..yeah.. i know
cool huh?
I have a broken heart.. but i will smile when the
opportunity arises.
I have an addiction. (or a few) but could it be so wrong
afterall?
I know what it feels like to want your life to end..
I know what it is like to wake up each morning to wrap
yourself around
the man you love and be thankful you have him..
i know what it feels like to be abandoned by the one man
you loved more than yourself..
I know what its like to hurt someone that you loved..
I have been a fool.. I have been afraid..
I have been broken and put myself back together..
I have fallen and taught myself how to stand again..
I have danced in the rain.. I have laughed through my
tears..
I have cried after making love..
I know desire. I know lust.
I know what it feels like to want something you cannot
have..
I know what it feels like to have had something you can No
longer have..
I know what it feels like to die.. I know what it feels
like to be brought back to life..
I have known Hate.. I have known deception.
I can understand the things that confuse others,
and yet I am confused about understanding myself.
I have been inconsiderate.
I have been a dissappointment..
I think differently, and sometimes i wish I couldnt think
at all.
I have asked for forgiveness.
I have been shallow..hiding the depth of my soul.
I have carried tears within my eyes every time I see a
baby born..
I have given birth and i know the worst pain in the world..
and how quickly you forget it when you hold your child for
the first time.
I believe in love at first sight.
I dont believe in perfection.. I do believe in compromise..
I believe any relationship needs balance and effort..
I am strong alone.. but stronger with love in my life.
I am co-dependant and independant.
I will never give up who I am to make someone happy.
I will not abandon myself to save another.
I have fears I cannot leave behind.
I have been alone in a room full of people.
I have been so alive.. alone with my lover.
I have made promises I couldnt keep.
I know what it is like to make love to someone and never
want them to be outside you again..
To make love to someone and feel your bodies become one..
your eyes meet and your souls dance..
I have held the hand of a stranger in need.
I have been helped by strangers.
I know what it feels like to think you cant go on..
I know what it feels like to kick yourself in the ass to
go on.
I know what it is to be depended on 24 hours a day by 3
children.
I know what it feels like to feel like you are failing
them.. letting them down.
I know what it is to give up comfort to take on the world
just
to make a better life for your children.
I have felt that i am not enough.. i have felt that i am
too much.
I am stubborn and yet indecisive.
I dont plan things very well.. but i always get where i am
going.. eventually!
I have driven into nowhere.. with no destination.
I have driven with a destination and never found what i
was looking for.
I bleed red.
I know what it is to be Human!!

- Get Your Own
You Followed me through Hell.. to SHow me where my heart belongs...

Buried at PhotoCasket.com
Don't say you love me... unless its your dying breath!!
I walk a fine line between sanity and truth. I am a soul searcher, out to find those who make me feel. Those who bring my emotions to life... I watch them dance before my eyes in the shadows of life. I sip the poison of your words, desperate to die in your arms.
I am passionate about love, soul, music. I live my life to a soundtrack of many songs. Binding my emotions in the moment. Never letting a memory fade away. I am passionate about understanding.

Understanding the meanings behind words, the emotions behind the tears, the fears behind the hesitation. I am a writer. Call it another passion, but i thrive within my own mind and flourish when I am able to describe my thoughts in words... I love the rain, the night, and crescent moons...
These 3 things are another source of emotion in my life... I live to feel. I am here to Be.
Eyes wide open.
This is where I have hidden all the good shit... Thoughts, emotions, fears of feeling, fears of falling, fears of picking myself up off the ground...
*~My Passion.. My PoEtry~*
December 11th 2005
There is nothing left of you
I hear you
Calling out for me tonight
I am so interrupted
Dont know which way I am going
Cant remember where I have been
I am just running
Staring at the light in the distance
Let me go
Dont make this harder on us both
You killed me
You ripped my soul from my skin and pretended to be true
Go... there is no place for you here
You bled my heart and thrived from its essence
You walked with your head held high
My body lying shaken on the ground in your shadow
You never looked back for a moment
You never thought What Have I done?
Decisions were simple when you were the one in control
Life was beautiful when things went your way
And your way was the only way
My words were held like water in your paper heart
My love for you was a pretty little granule of sand
sitting in your palm
Easily thrown down to the ground and forgotten
Once I was your goddess, you my precious love
I am not fallen anymore love
You have no power here
God did Not take me that fateful night
as I begged for his mercy
He left me, silent he remained
He did not comfort and shield me from the
agony of being dead inside
He did not give me my dying breath as I wished
No words of comfort rang true to me
Nothing was left in my world without you
He let me hurt, he let me cry
He let me dance with the devil in the light of the moon
He left the memory of you deep within me love
And Now
Now I know why
You are the curse breathed of the foulest kind
You are death within life
Within YOU is nothing without another lifting you high
Within you is an emptiness suited for
the darkest of Gods creatures
You know not heaven or hell, only what is before you
YOU are broken with no where to turn
I see it in your eyes and like an angel of mercy I tried
to take you away from your pain
You will never be the crescent moon in my silent night
What an angry soul you hold inside
What a tangled web you weave, and I am no longer entangled
in it with you I am without you
And my name will ring that light of happiness you once knew
You will be the one left in the darkness of this world
You will be the one left with less than a spark of hope
Every night you will look upon yourself and wonder where
you went wrong
Every night you will fall asleep praying to not be awakened
God will not answer your prayers
Just as he did not answer mine that night
He has His plan, and he doesnt play by your rules
You will suffer through what you have created
No second chances, there is only one chance in this
lifetime
Either you take it or you dont
I have been chosen, one of the precious few
Everything is going according to plan
God did not forsake me, he embraced me
You were lead blindly out of my life
You, confused and swearing you will always love me,
Me, fighting to keep you in my arms
But see its not your fault
You know not what you do
You know not what you ran into, when You ran into me
You were to never receive what I am
Only to taste what an angel is
A fallen angel with a lonely human soul
I was not allowed to love until my eyes were truly opened
to my path
But I did. I gave you the purest love and I recall your
words
I cant believe someone loves me this much
If you were the one, youd have known
We are ALL loved THAT much
Jesus loves each and every one of us THAT much
If you were the one, youd have believed
And now, many moons after you, I have risen again
Risen, holding the hand of god
Risen, standing in his magnificent light
Risen, walking a well lit path of love and truth
God has sent me one of my own kind
The one he has prepared me for my whole life
He has sent me one of his most beautiful angels to walk by
my side
One who has fought to remove the ashes left by YOU
One who has been so patient with my tears
One who has been blessed by your absence
Your walking away and allowing me to grow
Saving me from years of continuing in the wrong direction
My angel was blessed by what you could not hold
He was blessed by what you could not understand
He was blessed by your ignorance
You will never be the one
There is nothing left of you
-Thee Goddess

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