I think I should start from the beginning. I was adopted from a small village in Bangledesh by a family who raised alpacas. I would get up in the morning, milk them, brush them and wisper that everything was going to be okay...right up until the moment we slaughtered them to make alpaca burgers. I quickly grew tired of the slaughtering of hlepless animals...not because it was inhumane, but you don't even know how difficult it is to get alpaca blood out of polyester! As I grew up, I started hanging out with the wrong crowd, becoming involved in a Levis smuggling ring outside of Dallas. My gang was called the 501's, though we later changed it to "Loose and Baggy", cause that's how we rolled back then. During one particular denim run into Mexico, We were caught and beaten by the border patrol and forced to give up the rest of the gang. I was offered a deal, being a Bengladeshian citizen, and was placed in the whitness protection program. And this is how I ended up in LA. It is a different world here. I decided to reinvent myself and started my own line of spandex overalls, specially designed to resist alpaca blood stains. The line has taken off, especially in West Hollywood...go figure? It is a good life here. I have good friends who bail me out of jail, three wives who love me dearly and I have started to adopt as many Bengledesh children as I can find, which would be more if I didn't have to compete with that damn ANGELINA JOLIE! So I live in a world of make-believe, but I wouldn't have it any other way. And this is great, since, in my world, the Redskins win the Superbowl every year (Kenny would currently owe me $100 if he lived here), LOST actually answered questions when they say they will, Al Gore could actually convince the world about Global Warming, George Bush is finally seen as the devil, and people would stop blowing themselves up because they have nothing better to do. Yes, I live in an interesting world...and you are welcome to visit sometime. A little imagination never hurt anyone.
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