John Dooley profile picture

John Dooley

I am here for Networking

About Me

Wow! Hey! I'm a writer! Yes! Finally. I knew I'd be great the moment I first talked to myself and really, really, liked what I heard. Now I can sit tight and give my life to gravel, sentient rights, and other quirky exploits. As US Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas put it after clambering over Anita Hill's humanity wearing cock shaped cleats and finally reaching the Supreme Court bench, "Whoop-dee-damn-doo." And I'm even more thrilled than him! . . . . . .

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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

You (in a dark alley) with your knees coated in some kind of sticky syrup, being licked by leaping blue mice wearing tiny red ball caps. I'd like to meet someone skilled enough to repair my mechanical pencil.And fart people. People made entirely of farts (or flatulence). They'd be flatulent, too, but would certainly be physically comprised of flatulence as well. I'd call 'em FARTS for short, and invite them into your home on an already unsettling Wednesday. Do you smell something burning?

My Blog

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