I'm kind of hard to read, especially when you first meet me, so let's go over a few things.
1) I'm overly affectionate
2) I'm way too friendly and it WILL seem like I'm in love with you.
3) I WILL buy you breakfast, lunch and dinner if you are down and out... whatever you need, I will do my best. anytime, all the time.
4) If you call me at 3 AM cuz you are stranded and need a ride, I'll come and get you. No matter what.
5) If you need something, pretty much anything, within a matter of 3 phone calls, I can hook you up. Try me.
6) But I don't have a crush on you,
7) I don't have a crush on anyone,
8) I just love being around you, and I want to know you more.
Other important things you should know about me:
I wrap everything in lettuce. Really- if you and I ever go out to eat, you'll be embarrassed by how much lettuce I eat. And yet, you'll realize I'm a genious. Hey, you try it. Put some lettuce on your grilled cheese sandwich. Or wrap your mozerella sticks in lettuce. Believe me.
I'll admit it, I could watch Dog Bounty Hunter and/or King of Queens alllll day and not get tired of it.
Do you have any quarters? Can I have them?
Also, I can't use Purell unless I have something to wash or wipe it off with. I know, I know, it kills the germs and you dont need water. But there's something about killing all those germs and having all those little dead corpses left behind on my hands that just doesn't seem very comcastic.
I bring the quirk. What do you bring to the party?
This is the most truthful video I have ever seen.
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