Have you ever dislocated a hip while dancing at your step-sister's wedding? Or tossed aside your date because she was messing up your rhythm? NO? That's because you haven't experienced the second coming of the funk explosion...HAI KARATE! Mark "Onion Ring" Kent formed HAI KARATE after co-workers at White Castle told him had real talent, right before firing him. So he set sail from the port town of Boulder, CO, looking under rocks and behind park benches for kindred spirits. He plucked frontman "Boom Boom" Mulligan from the mean streets of Kingston, Jamaica and rescued keyboardist "Stink Eye" Evan from a staring contest with the a statue in Gorky Park. Kent blackmailed PJ Harvey into coming to the States to play bass and found Kevin Byers beating on coconut shells on the eastern shores of Bornea, shaved him, clipped his toenails, and taught him how to shop on E-Bay. The horn section just showed up one day and refuses to leave. Formerly known as the Flying Linguinis, they are an insatiable crew that can't stop drinking all the vodka. Collectively, they are known as HAI KARATE. A full-monty (metaphorically speaking, of course), drop-kick in the face aftershock of Funk. Dirty funk. Stanky funk. Grass-roots, momma-cooks-every-breakfast-with-hog, gotta-take-a-shower-afterwards funk. So dust off your groove-thing (if you've misplaced yours, check behind the TV, that's where I found mine) and get out on the dance floor. At the end of the night, your booty muscles may protest, but your soul will vote HAI KARATE into office every time.
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