Lucas

I grew up in a small town in Canada. It was cold but at the age of 6, I learned to keep warm by wearing pudding that was butterscotch. At 12 I bought the publishing rights for the alphabet which basically means I own every word ever written. It has made me millions of dollars which I give to fund research into why the sky is blue and puppy's noses are cold. The results will shock and amaze you. I drink 4 gallons of tomato soup a day to get the positive energy it provides. I tap dance to 50 cent songs and just got back to earth after doing a 4 galaxy tour of in da club. I wash my laundry with the juice of a virgin skunk because it makes it smell like cantalopes. I refuse to button any button on a shirt, instead I staple it together. I drive a hurst which is painted white to throw off the passerbys. I am richer than Bill gates but no one knows me cause I refuse to use banks, instead I bury my money along the banks of the Tittabawasie river in Michagan. I love a good shave. I am a virgin and plan to be one until the year 2018 when the great reptile man says I can have intercourse. I once ate a whole package of fish food and could fly for 3 days, it was insane until I crashed and hurt my spleen. I have lived in every state except London. I can pee a distance of 9 feet and for an hour if I drink the right amount of febreeze. At night I glow green when excited! I love bathing in hairspray, it is expensive and time consuming but I adore it. I sometimes sleep in a tree to know what it is like to be a whale.