The above picture makes me happy.
I'm frickin awesome! For some reason, however, very few others realize this.
I'm smart as hell and nearly always right, and I know it. However, I know that I am far from infallible. I am also aware that these two statements don't fit well together, logically.
When I make a mistake, I do not easily forgive myself.
I hate it when people ramble off supposed facts without really knowing anything more than what some guy said.
I hate people who drive slow in the passing lane on the expressway.
I hate white T-shirts.
I hate boxer shorts with buttons.
I hate products with superfluous stickers all over them.
I like to use the word "superfluous."
I hate bad English, except the way I do it.
I really like Charmin Fresh Mates. I don't know what I did before they existed.
I really like video games.
I really like electronics.
I enjoy the form of "hacking" that involves taking electronics apart, adapting them, and making them better.
I do not break into computer systems. I feel it's important to say that since I mentioned hacking, so as not to seem to put up a front.
I know what every connector, on the back of every home theater component and computer you've ever seen, is for.
I will not fix your computer, hook up your cable box, set the clock on your ancient VCR, etc.
I believe that if you drive a minivan, you are 66% more likely to drive like sh*t.
I believe in spanking children, and would spank other people's if I could get away with it.
I believe that most teenagers need a stern lecture on manners, and perhaps a good smack on the face.
I believe that "middle age" is like a second "teenage" phase, where people stop believing that they have something to learn and believe that they know everything and are infallible. That being said, I believe that most middle aged adults need a stern lecture on manners, and perhaps a good smack on the face.
I don't like religious people who try to force their views and morals on others.
I don't like atheists who try to force their views and morals on others.
I think veganism is silly, but I respect the rights of others to do what they wish.
I like alcohol, but only when other people are enjoying it too.
I floss. Daily.
I enjoy sophomoric humor.
I like red wine.
I think most people that drink white wine are snobs that are trying to look cultured.
I really like sushi.
I really like to cook, and try new recipes. I'm kind of good at it, too.
I like Starbucks. Yeah, they put small coffee shops out of business, but only when Starbucks' coffee is better. And it usually is.
I think using "[sic]" is pretentious. Unless you are a real journalist, give it up.
I hate being sick, but I hate "medicine head" almost as much.
I think that naps are great, especially with a Kensie-Schnauzer-Dog.
I really like guns. I have a small collection, and plan to make it bigger. On a side note, please refrain from f*cking with me, thanks.
I think that anti-gun people are shortsighted fools.
I like Target.
I hate Walmart, but not because they're big or whatever, because the one near me is poorly managed and full of trashy people.
I tend to have libertarian viewpoints, or slightly left thereof.
I like beer, but not the yellow pee-water kind. I prefer beer with flavor and body.
I hate exercising. I find it too boring to stand.
I hate "drama" with a passion. I'm too old to worry about middle school faux pas.
I like girls who play dress up, I like bands who play dress up, and I like movies with people playing dress up, but normal guys that play dress up are f*ckin' tools.
I usually only add MySpace friends who I've met in real life, with very few exceptions. I think "friend collecting" is pretentious.
I also like to use the word "pretentious."
I think that speed limits on limited access highways (expressways) are b*llsh*t.
I think that people who drive excessively fast through neighborhoods are c*nt-bags. That's how kids get killed. Keep it reasonable; like 5 over at the most, but only if you're paying attention to what your doing.
I think that "limited edition" and "collectors edition" videogames are usually b*llsh*t. They give you an extra DVD with crap you don't care about and a special box that makes no real difference, and charge you 10 bucks for being a compulsive consumer. There are exceptions, of course.
I think that most modern country music is crap. It glorifies poor illiterate white trash and I hate it.
I think that most modern rap music is crap. It glorifies violent uneducated hood rats and I hate it.
I like a little old country. Johnny Cash's "Folsom Prison Blues" is amazing.
I like a little indie hip-hop. It's amazing; articulate rappers, that don't all sound the same, not obsessed with being gangster, and all people want to listen to is the crap on MTV.
I love curry. I can't get enough.
I think it's important to always try to better yourself. I try.
I hate mowing the lawn. Why can't they bioengineer some grass that doesn't need cutting?
I prefer NON-organic foods, but I'm not too picky. My rationale is that pesticides, chemical fertilizers, bovine growth hormones, genetic engineering, and the like, produce more food for less money, which feeds more hungry people, cheaply. Also, considering that we're not dropping like flies, and that these technologies are extensively tested before they reach us, I think they're completely safe. I also think it's selfish to not support technologies that could end world hunger some day, because of unfounded fears and biases. I think that organic foods are usually just a marketing ploy.
I think that the Bush administration is a fascist regime. Luckily, our system of government restricts much of their power.
I believe that our government works best when one party controls the Capitol, and the other controls the White House. This insures checks and balances are maintained and that neither party gets too far ahead of themselves.
I believe that all people are capable of greatness in their own way. Because of that assertion, I think that people that do not at least achieve mediocrity are to be pitied or despised, depending on context.
I despise apathy. If you care about something, stand up for it. Even a little bit helps. Hate and annoyance can be channeled into positive results if you have the will.
Dogs are better than cats. This is not a belief, it is a proven fact. Scientists told me, and then God sent an angel down to confirm it. We all had a picnic. It was awesome!
If I could have any super power, I would be able to make people see their actions through the eyes of those that they'd wronged. Of course, I'd probably be considered a super villain and thrown in prison, or have my pants sued off by someone who was emotionally scarred by the incident.
I hate it when I'm in the middle of doing something, especially at work, and then I'm told to do something else. I don't "switch gears" that fast. I like to finish what I've started.