I find that I have a pretty good idea who I am, though I find it hard to describe in any way. Perhaps I am more complex than I can describe, perhaps I just over analyze it, as I tend to do with everything else. Anyone that knows me that well, which I realize is less and less than I previously thought, will know that I am searching for something. Love, passion, friendship, laughter, something and/or someone that I can pour myself into. I find nothing more amazing that waking up and dedicating yourself to something that you are willing to sweat for, willing to sacrifice for, willing to give everything for. So I guess that I am trying to find that thing(s).
I have not found it yet, and often times the fact that I haven't found it yet drives me crazy. Resulting in my inability to sleep or even become motivated under the weight of my self created pressures and expectations. I'd like to think I'm getting better with everything, but who really knows.
I'm not currently seeing anyone or working on anything specific, as my current financial situation kind of hinders my ability to find the proper time and motivation. Not that I am not interested in finding someone or working on anything in particular, in fact I think that one or both would actually do me some good. Okay, I'm done with this for now, I'll come back and add to / edit this later. For now I am going to actually try and get some sleep, since I have to be somewhere in just over 5 hours. Wish me luck.
