zigZOG

I'd like to meet:

i'm not so into guys. i mean i'm totally into the occasional guy that knows me giving a hi five or a shout out but let's face it if your .. to meet guys you're gay. every guy that's chatting to an unknown is either fighting or attempting to seduce some .. chick. and those of you guys that pretend to be women just to f--- with guys heads you're gay too. i lost an uncle that way adn i refuse to go out like that. other than those few criteria there are few matters more that need to be introduced...they are located under the section, MAN CODE read as follows,The Man CodeThou shall not rent the movie “Chocolat” or “Bridges of Madison County”.Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.When you are queried by a buddy’s wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; The exception being when trying to pick a girl---the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent.If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever.The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who’s running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. you may however gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friend’s birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it----even at your bachelor party.Before dating a buddy’s “ex”, you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.If a man’s zipper is down, that’s his problem. You didn’t see nothin’!The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend’s cat.When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, buy you may never ask who’s playing.When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give her the go- ahead only if you’ll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach---and it’s delivered by a topless supermodel---and it’s free.Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.If a buddy is out-numbered, out-manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, “What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin”, then you may sit back and enjoy.Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight- lifting:“Yeah, baby, push it!” “C’mon, give me one more! Harder!” “Another set and we can hit the showers” “Nice ass! Are you a Sagittarius?”Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza--- but not both. That’s just plain mean.If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy---except when she’s withholding sex pending your response.Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you’re on equal footing: Either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, A nod is all the conversation you need.If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, YOU MAY NOT---unless you are Gay.Well, as many of you know, I've been pretty busy up here in Seattle. Recently I've taken on the responsiblities of a resident/property manager of a 30-unit complex here on the east side (Bellevue, WA) and waiting tables at night at the local Cheesecake Factory just a few blocks up the street. Even more recently I've been doing what I can to make a name for myself in the mortgage industry working under the title, Sr. Loan Consultant during the week, even though, i have no clue whatsoever, it is that i am doing with these people's money... that's not entirely true nor is it the underlining news i wish to share with you.MOVING ONLast week I proposed!! It was a lot of fun to plan and even more exciting to see the proposal all come together.Here is the lo-down if you care to read on.We were scheduled for a tour of the Coca-Cola Bottling plant here in Bellevue for Wednesday at 4:00. I told her a freind of mine from Univ of Washington had a production management field trip that we were going to join up with since they only do group tours. Upon arriving at the plant, a lady from PR greeted us and (as planned) told us the group had cancelled but we could go on ahead with the tour. She led us down to the production floor manager, Eric, whom I had been planning alongside with now for weeks.We took the tour as any regular group would (about 45 minutes worth) and then proceeded to the auditorium for a detailed movie/slide show presentation of the process of mixing, bottleing and packaging coke products. It was here that we were presented with two sodas "fresh off of the production line" and asked to have a taste.Mary was sooo surprised to find that beneath her sealed diet coke bottle cap, hanging by a short string was an engagement ring (I had done some tampering haha) and even more suprised to look over to find me on one knee asking her to be my wife. Meanwhile, a gentleman from sales who also runs a viedography business was capturing the whole thing on tape from the corner of the room. Eric also rigged the projector to project a slide offering "Congratulations to Jesse and Mary from Coke".From the bottling plant, donned with multiple gifts from coke, we hopped into a limmo to have dinner downtown at Trader Vic's, a Polynesian Restaurant that had just opened two nights earlier. This, of course, all unbeknownst to Mary who believed we were going to a Seattle Sonics basketball game (a gift for her birthday the weekend prior) serving as a ploy to distract her and at the same time reserve the evenening for us both.It was a lot of fun to plan and has been a great story to share. I hope everyone is having a blasty blast. I'll hopefully hear from some of you soon.Herzy

Music:

rock/soldier boy

Movies:

Enjoy.

Starburst Berries and Cream Commercial

flying copter

Television:

arrested d. scrubs. seinfeld. and boy meets world.

Books:

check

Heroes:

my spidey sense tells me i'm gonna go with spiderman