Blunt Force Trauma! profile picture

Blunt Force Trauma!

When some stupid dick fucks with you... YOU BURN THEM AND THEIR WHOLE FOUNDATION TO THE GROUND!!

About Me

I firmly believe in rock candy, green jello and snowcone makers. I believe there IS a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow, and surrounding that pot of gold is a barbwired electric fence with a sign on it reading "Keep Out, Lads!"I rock AND I roll!!!

My Interests

Assassin for hire. Bank robber that always escapes with the money. Think I'm joking? Yeah I am hehehe... My interestes are having fun, making people laugh and being myself. Oh and to TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD! But I'll do that on my lunch break =)

I'd like to meet:

The missing link, Curious George the monkey, Drop Dead Fred, some of those classic 70's-80's porn stars so I can see where they are now and ask if their lives were like the movie Boogie Nights.... oh and of course I'd like to meet you, too.Just remember rule number one: Do not talk about fight club!

Music:

Well there's nothing like the sound of two good old pots banging together... the sounds on the banjo stringing up on a warm mississippi night when the shines just right... "Oh my baby and got no teeth, no teeth, no teeth... my baby ain't got no damn teeeeeeth!"OK then, how about some polka instead??

Movies:

Ah yes, america's favorite past time! I'd have to say I'm a man that's more into "chick flicks" than anything else. I love those classic chick flicks like "Saving Ryans Privates" or "Edward Penishands"... who can forget the all time classic "A Clockwork Orgy"?? What do you mean those aren't chick flicks? I see... So what IS a chick flick then?? Oh... Wow... That's just discusting! Honestly. And they make the guy sit through these things?? That's just gross!! "

Television:

I like to watch those channels with the staticy lines where if you're lucky you might be able to make out a boob or two. I mean the camera guy needs a little work at his job, but the sound guy is awesome!! "Uuuuuh.. oooooh baby deeeeper! Yeeees! Uoooh, fuck me hard big daddy!!" ...I'm pretty sure it's some kind of nature show or something.

Books:

Blockbuster video and Hollywood video have the best books there! Those are by far my favorite two libraries. The other one being that adult video place on Genesse.

Heroes:

Beth of course!Oh and Ghandi.. I don't know why. I liked his shoes.

My Blog

The San Diego Trip!

Hey Rockstars! So decided to go take a little trip to San Diego last week to get away from all of the drama and get a little R&R with my friends... and to help my bro Tyler buy his first house!! I...
Posted by Life is a party... I thought you were invited?!?! on Thu, 26 Apr 2007 08:20:00 PST

AV's Most Beautiful Male Contest

Hi EVERYBODY! So I'm finally posting the long anticipate contest blog! I've been waiting for pics to post and finally got 1 usable one for right now but I'll post more if I can get 'em. Plus my buddy ...
Posted by Life is a party... I thought you were invited?!?! on Thu, 26 Apr 2007 07:35:00 PST

FUCK YEAH!!!!

JUST LISTED A $30 MILLION DOLLAR COMMERCIAL PEICE OF LAND IN LOS ANGELES AT 10% COMMISION!!! AND I HAVE A BUYER SO I'M DOUBLE ENDING THE DEAL!!! HELL YEAH THAT'S A $3 MILION DOLLAR COMMISION WHEN IT C...
Posted by Life is a party... I thought you were invited?!?! on Wed, 18 Apr 2007 12:59:00 PST

Fire on the water!!

OK so some of you probably already heard about my 30th birthday party mayhem. And if you haven't let me enlighten you about my crimnal activities on that day. So I went to lake Isabella for a fishing...
Posted by Life is a party... I thought you were invited?!?! on Sat, 22 Apr 2006 07:19:00 PST

Tag you're it!

Each player of this game starts with the "6 weird things/habits about you".  People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly. ...
Posted by Life is a party... I thought you were invited?!?! on Tue, 18 Apr 2006 09:39:00 PST

Beast Within

The blood is gonna flow But it don't belong to Abraham This unseen mutha fuckers Has more jams the Smuckers Raise a ruckus Like Wutang Pergatory vein In the angelic vampire 100% parais See, cyanide kn...
Posted by Life is a party... I thought you were invited?!?! on Thu, 18 Aug 2005 03:08:00 PST

Your foot in my face

Yeah boy! So I'm at karate class last night and we're all gearing up for our tournament this Saturday (which I gotta be there by 8 in the fucking morning). So we do all our cardio and stretching and ...
Posted by Life is a party... I thought you were invited?!?! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Be afraid... be very, very afraid!

Not of what is under your bed... or what's hiding in your closet... or if you remembered to take your pil or not. NO! Be afraid of... MIMES! That's right I said it! Mimes people! Sure there innocently...
Posted by Life is a party... I thought you were invited?!?! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

OK Bloggers and Bloggetts...

Time for a well need new blog from the king of comedy... ladies and gentlemen please put your hands together for the truely funny and amazing comedic genious.... Mr. Jim Carrey! ...what do you mean...
Posted by Life is a party... I thought you were invited?!?! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Do me! Do me!!

Our relationship... 1. Have we kissed?: 2. Do you want to?: 3. What would you like our relationship to be?: 4. Have we dated?: 5. Did you like it?: 6. Do you want to date?: 7. Are we close frie...
Posted by Life is a party... I thought you were invited?!?! on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST