ME:
Adult children of alcoholics (i.e. ACOA, Codependency):
We have come to feel isolated, and uneasy with other people, especially authority figures. To protect ourselves, we became people pleasers, even though we lost our own identities in the process. All the same we would mistake any personal criticism as a threat.
We either became alcoholics ourselves, married them, or both. Failing that, we found other compulsive personalities, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our sick need for abandonment.
We live life from the standpoint of victims. Having an over developed sense of responsibility, we prefer to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. We have felt guilty feelings when we trusted ourselves, giving in to others. We became reactors rather than actors, letting others take the initiative.
We have dependent personalities, terrified of abandonment, willing to do almost anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to be abandoned emotionally. We keep choosing insecure relationships because they match our childhood relationship with alcoholic or dysfunctional parents.
These symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism or other dysfunction made us 'co-victims', those who take on the characteristics of the disease without necessarily ever taking a drink. We learned to keep our feelings down as children and keep them buried as adults. As a result of this conditioning, we often confused love with pity, tending to love those we could rescue.
Even more self-defeating, we became addicted to excitement in all our affairs, preferring constant upset to workable solutions.
I have a Pomeranian named Miso Cute. I am pregnant with a little girl and I am due August 30th. I am determined to save the world, if not today then sometime in the near future. I have a Bachelors degree in Psychology and I graduate in May with a Masters degree in Counseling Psychology. I love children. I am a Substance Abuse Counselor for DYFS. I am one of the best BSers I know. I knew a few people when I was younger who told me I have a radio voice. I wanted to be an actress but I could never figure out where to start. I live on my own and when I look back on my life, I have no idea how I lived home for 23 years. I like writing checks cuz it makes me feel like a grownup. There are a lot of things about myself I wish I could change, but there are a lot of things about myself I treasure. I love waking up earlier than my alarm, looking at the clock, and realizing I have another hour to sleep. I can go for weeks without wanting to leave the house, but then there will be weeks when I can't stand to be home. I complain all winter about it being too cold, and I complain all summer about it being too hot. If I won the lottery I would probably waste it on a bunch of junk, so I might as well save the space. I hate the town I live in, but I don't want to leave it. I love music and I wish I was talented enough to make a living out of it. I love art and again I wish I was talented enough to make a living out of it. I am late to everything, I was even late to my own birth. I came to know Jesus January of 2005 and I have been blessed ever since. I have faults: I am selfish, annoying, obnoxious and confrontational. I have good qualities: I am caring, loving, compassionate, motivated and a child of God.
