Honky Mofo profile picture

Honky Mofo

If I had super vision, do you think I would be flying around in a chicken coupe with a lion?

About Me

I got it. The best description of myself. It is so insanely accurate that the government is going to use my description of myself to target missiles. I know, it sounds unlikely. I dont make the news, I just report it. I am, are you ready: imperceptively perceptive. For you uneducated folk, that means I'm tall. You can count on not being able to count on me. I am strict about keeping my word on the small things, and liable to skip state is something big comes up. I'm Irresponsible,alternately goofy and irascible, occasionally gloomy. I see the glass as half broken. When giving advice I am positive, when talking to myself I am grave and saturnine. And I typically pity the fool. They apparently named oranges before they named carrots. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.

My Interests

I am sick of following my dreams, I am just gonna ask 'em where they're going, and meet 'e there. Golf, I like golf. Volleyball, basketball. I am almost a complete home theater idiot. I have a pretty extensive movie collection. I am an amateur cryptologist, a 3rd degree fiddle thrower, and a lawn dart target. I like to catch dyslexic ducks and help them to stop yelling kcauq. It is an important cause. If you want to volunteer to help me with this, call me at (888)Giv a duck a chance. Midget tossing. Midget catching sucks. Ever caught a little elbow to the nose? A tiny knee to the groin. Sucks. I figure if you have read this far, you are nearly as hopeless as I, and deserve whatever you get.

I'd like to meet:

There is a small percentage of people that I have any interest whatsoever in meeting. It is possible that you are one of them, but due to the fact that I only want to meet a small percentage of the population of the world, it is unlikely. Do you think that you belong to a small percentage of the population? I do. I would like to meet my grandfather. I would like to talk with my mom a few more times. Every time I hear "Dance With My Father" by Luther Vandross I think about my mom and dad. I would like to meet them as a young couple, when they first fell in love. That is the parents I would like to remember. I would like to meet the "what if" me. I may be pretty happy with where I am if I met that guy. He may be a total douche. I guess we're all douches to somebody, if I had it my way, I may be a douche to me, even more so than in actuality...interesting to think about.

Music:


Movies:

Snatch. The best. hands down. Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrells is also fantastic. I am dwon with all Quentin Tarantino's flicks, and like the occassional Epic film. Dogma. All the Muppet movies. The Departed, it was unbelievably good, really-doe. Old what's his name was a stud, surprisingly. Man on Fire. Sideways was the worst movie I have ever seen, followed closely by Life Aquatic and Punch Drunk Love. I appreciate the artist going out on a limb for those movies, but the limb broke, and the tree was positioned directly over movie hell.

Television:

The Unit is my favorite. Heroes, Squidbillies, Friday Night Lights, Future Weapons, Mythbusters, Boston Legal, House, Boondocks, Eureka, I looked forward to every Wenesday night for Blade, but the F-ers went and cancelled it. I dig Life, the new cop show. Homey is an ex con cop that was wrongly accused of murder and goes around solving cases and hunting the schmucks that framed him. He's a buddhist, and he abhorrs violence, however when he runs into dudes that he concludes framed him, he gets his kill on. I also really like Saving Grace. She is a ding-a-ling hound that is being recrruited by God, in a less than subtle fashion. I appreciate her struggles, although if you've seen or heard of the show, you would know why I would dislike her, regardless of her and my similarities spiritually speaking. (I am not a ding-a-ling fiend, and I have never seen an angel) And so on.

Books:

I am reading Demon Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark. I love Carl Sagan, his show Cosmos is one of the most eye opening shows ever. He had the rare abiltiy to be deleriously smart and communicative. I am also trying to read "A Briefer History in Time" by Stephen Hawking. It is quite simple to understand, right up to the beginning, then it words its way right over my head. Friggin Physicist. Tim Dorsey is an absolute riot, but not like a Somalia gimme some food riot, a genuine American riot with teargas and fired judges. On a different note, Vince Flynn and Joel Rosenberg are both edge of your rocking chair reading.

Heroes:

Heroes is a show on TV. Real life heroes are never heard of. People that do what they know they cant do, simply because they know they have to, those are heroes. Those "warmongers" that join the army/navy/marines/air force that see their friends die, yet go to work and do their job the next day because it has to be done, those are heroes (please understand the sarcasm in the second word of the sentence). People that know they can't make ends meet, yet try their hearts out (my dad initially), those are heroes. I admire parts of people. Some people's honesty, some people's compassion. There is almost no one that I have idolized that hasn't disappointed me at some point. I have to learn to admire people without letting their weaknesses disgust me. My weaknesses disgust me, to no end.

My Blog

Absence of proof is not proof of absence

I wrote for about 3 hours this morning sharing great facts about fantastic people, from Einstein to Heisenburg to Carl Sagan to Bob Cook.  I went to check the spelling of a ridiculously un-needed...
Posted by Honky Mofo on Mon, 29 Sep 2008 11:01:00 PST

Inevitablility

Wow.  Ever tried to spell inevitability?  It just feels weird writing it. What is inevitable?  The popular saying is "death and taxes".  I believe that.  I believe that the gu...
Posted by Honky Mofo on Thu, 22 Mar 2007 11:32:00 PST

Gno Gnews is Good Gnews, by Gary Gnu

There is good news and bad news.  Sometimes it is better to exist in a vacuum with no news than it is to receive either.  Bad news, well that is fairly self explanatory.  Good news, why...
Posted by Honky Mofo on Fri, 08 Dec 2006 06:32:00 PST

Meanderings, self control

Please let me warn you that this blog is going to get boring, and is going to be rather long. There are points, but they are like the stars and anyhting can be drawn unto them. As I sit here watching...
Posted by Honky Mofo on Mon, 06 Nov 2006 09:03:00 PST

Clean teeth rock.

So. I spent a couple of hours today having a few things done in one of the worst places imaginable.  No, I'm not talking about Milledgeville, I'm talking about inside my mouth.  Up until the...
Posted by Honky Mofo on Fri, 20 Oct 2006 07:38:00 PST

News

Mornings.  Mornings for me can go any of a number of different ways.  There are mornings with promises of sunshine and golf or volleyball with friends .  There are mornings fi...
Posted by Honky Mofo on Mon, 16 Oct 2006 05:00:00 PST

Bad pictures

  So, by my thinking, a blog should be something about which one feels strongly, and about which one can speak clearly and with some modicum of intelligence.  I expect to encounter a tangent...
Posted by Honky Mofo on Sun, 08 Oct 2006 06:02:00 PST