I have been on earth as a child of God for 60 years. Baptized Catholic fell away from God around age 20 after receiving Jesus as my savior at age 7. For about 35 years I lived a life of sin in lust, porn, some drinking, smoking, some drugs, and abusing women.
I have been married three times. The first two was filled with abuse and disrespect for my wives. In my first marriage which started in June of 1970 after about a month after we were married I began to be controlling telling her when to be home, what friends she could have, who she could invite over, I think you get the idea. If she was not home on time or didn’t do as I ordered I would get angry and hit her and/or break things. In February of 1973 our son was born, in June of 1974 she took my son and divorced me because of my anger.
I started dating right away and had little respect for the women I dated or slept with. In February of 1976 I started dating a woman who turned out to be my second wife. I right away became verbally abusive. In November of 1988 I left her.
My anger continued for 12 more years, I would have temper tantrums verbally attacking sons, friends, coworkers, and family members Until December of 2001 when I totally lost it with my sister. On the following Monday I went to the doctor and told him about my problem, he put me on some meds, which helped some. I still had outburst of anger but not as often and as bad I still didn’t allow God in my life.
In December of 2002 I met my current wife and in June of 2003 we were married. We started looking for a church but didn’t find one that we felt comfortable at. On Thanksgiving Day I had a heart attack that as you can imagine moved me to seek God even more.
In April of 2004 the doctors found a spot on my lung and was 90 – 95% sure it was cancer. June 22, 2004 I received the best news of my life. God wanted me to be His servant. No cancer.
Christmas of 2004 My wife and I attended a Christmas drama at a local church. We liked the church, the message the pastor gave, and the people enough to stay. In March 2005 the church began a ministry called Celebrate Recovery. I was reluctant to attend but God had plans for me. Celebrate Recovery has helped me to control to control my anger.
I wish that I would have known 38 years ago about the power of prayer, living my life for God, and meds. If I had I wouldn’t have had two failed marriages, so many friends hurt and lost, and hurt family members. Having not known allows me to help others learn from my experience, which I feel is Gods plan for me. Oh the biggest thing that that pushed me to seek help was for my first two marriages to fail
God, meds, and CR have helped me I hope and pray that it will help someone.
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