Here I am Lord. Help me be strong. Hold my hand. I know you have me here for a reason. I know you are in this all the way. Here I stand Lord. Help me be brave. Hold my head high. Work in my heart Lord. Work in my life. Keep my smile shining. Give me the faith that I need.
I've learned a lot. I've learned that everything does happen for a reason. I've learned that God doesn't give you the people you want. Instead, He gives you the people you need. To teach you, to hurt you, to love you & to make you exactly the way you're meant to be. Everyone I've met has helped me to grow & learn in some way, whether they've been there as support or to make my life a living hell; it still helped me learn. I tend to be too scared to get too close to people. Whether they're friends or whatever; it seems that every time I get close to someone, they always have to go away. Maybe it's to teach me how life goes on & how I shouldn’t depend on people; or maybe, I just trust the wrong people. I've learned that I don't need anyone else in order to survive. No one is ever going to always be there, no matter what they say or what they promise you. Your real friends will be there for you as much as possible; but everyone is human. I've learned that you can't really depend on anyone else but God; so in the end all you really have besides yourself is God. I've learned to just accept the things that are given to me in life & not question things too much. I've learned to accept certain things, suck it up, keep my head up, & continue on with life. I've learned that no matter how bad your heart has been broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief. I’ve learned that to let go isn't to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn't about winning or losing. It's not about pride and it's not about how you appear, and it not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn't leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It's not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss and it's not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind, confidence in the future. Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most impotent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself free. I've learned that if I pretend that nothing happened, I will never learn from my mistakes. I've learned that I have to make mistakes in order to learn from them. I know that whatever doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. I've learned that we all die. The goal isn't to live forever, but to create something that will.
"The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them - words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear."
-Stephen King
