During the weeks leading up to this paper I was constantly searching my past for significant experiences or in general anything that could contribute to its composition. I have spent countless hours mentally organizing events, relationships, and people to form a coherent timeline describing how I became the sexual being I am today. At first, I was stumped, I could not articulate my experiences into words, I had not learned how to translate emotion into words. I found myself typing situations without the underlying importance, and the paper quickly became a listing of my sexual conquest from early adolencents to current sexual relations. Aside from typing the experiences, I found myself lacking the proper emotional stability to really tackle the bulk of the paper, solely because of personal insecurities, I was afraid to challenge the very notions that defined who I am. The paper was transcending from a list, dichotomized into likes and dislikes, into an awareness of self. The transition occured when I began the proofreading, when I read what I wrote, it was apparent I failed to be honest. I failed to analyze situations because it is easier to maintain a certain facade when I remain ignorant to the lies I feed myself. And this is where the seeds of revelation began to sow themselves; in the very heart of the paper. My declaration of self began with this paper; I am the sexual being I am today because of the choices I have made in life and the choices in life I failed to make.
I am an individual in the sense that I don't strive to find another that completes me; for we are humans and not objects. I cannot possibly fill a void in anyones life as if I'm holding the place of someone once before me.
if you find yourself hating me or generally disagreeing with me, then i am successful at what im doing. im successful at making you think, at forcing you to challenge the very notions that define you. im challenging you to be your own person. So do me a favor and return such actions. force me to go beyond my own personal hemisphere and force me to challenge my own political, social and moral codes.
I cannot grow without change.
aim blueranger916
