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Adam

The body of Our Saviour shat but Our Saviour shat not.

About Me

As I sat on the highest peak of Everest and watched the sun rise- while reading and hating "The Sun Also Rises"- the lateral connections between Robert Coover’s rumored "secret page numbers code", which is said to explain Spanish verbs and their tenses in GREAT detail, and the number of letters in the chapter names in/of "The Art of Rhetoric"(Arabic translation) became both painfully transparent and joyously solid and then suddenly EXACTLY what I had been missing my whole life - a true love and understanding of algebraic concepts when so applied to the life sciences: i.e. space-age cooking, robot sewing, and NASA cleaning - came rushing into the proverbial (and paradoxical, not to mention somehow both primordial and progressed) "hole (whole?) in my heart" (which btw is not shaped like Jesus or the early-country-music-staple of "the love of a good woman", it is merely a roundish hole - no distinct shape - but think the main island of Hawaii if you must) while simultaneously a majestic mountain goat (Oreamnos Americanus) came out of nowhere - literally, he/she/it just warped in, or whatever - and promptly kicked me in the not so "proverbially representative of my overall being" as "perfunctorily protected and displayed"(mislayed? mislaid?) ass, but as I fell (IT WAS A FULL-TILT PLUMMET, I SAY!) to my certain demise God came to me as a great phoenix that carried the complete works of Herodotus in his mighty (and forgiving) beak and carried me to safety then I immediately and at once realized that if life does indeed have a purpose, it almost surely is Pursuit with a capital P, but since all Pursuits worth Pursuing in history have been accomplished by men greater than I, but I now, since I live in THE now, must function in a world less than men, have no purpose, only desire, and with desire comes consequence, which brings me back to the 'bird our god': upon his droppings he dropped me off and I began my functory one year of silence in which I realized that being a seventh son of a seventh son does not guarantee you a statue or statute in the halls of history, only a beautiful persona to do with what you will, I took my new stolidity (reinforced by moral rectitude which in turn was formed by sitting in the 'bird our god's' rectumtude, lol, for some twelve months) and the knowledge gained by my own serious study (eh, more like a once-over) of the aforementioned texts which t.b.o.g so carried, I marched my seriously enlightened and goat-kick-scarred ass straight to the nearest Campus and demanded to be taught both (or either!), at which time I was told that (and truly believed it so) it was lunch time, so I bought myself a double bacon chee - hold the onion and pickle, plz.

My Interests

family, friends, writing a book, reading books, watching Jean-Claude Van Damme films , beautiful sentences, new music, generic Dr. Pepper, taking naps, eating bloody slabs of steak, painting, Hip-Hop, Rap, Wikipedia, Fiction, puns, bogarting The Glenlivet, ridding the earth of total shit one jam band at a time, history, facts, getting reparations for all the money I've been screwed out of w/r/t my being the co-inventor or Frisbee Golf, trying to work out some sort of concentration camp for Wiccans in my backyard, etc etc.
Dislikes watching and/or hearing Jim Breuer, wearing wet socks, having the squirts, etc

I'd like to meet:

People who kick down doors and sometimes yell.

Music:

These links should work, enjoy. Hypnotic Brass Ensemble , Ted Leo/RX , Clipse , Andrew Bird , MF Doom , Spoon , Lupe Fiasco , Timberlake , MF Doom , The Blood Brothers , Kay Kay and His Weathered Underground , Nora O'Conner , Konono N°1 , John Legend , Danielson , Tom Waits , Dragonforce , The House Harkonnen , Callupsie , GHOSTS , Elliott the Letter Ostrich , Peanut Butter Wolf (and everything else on Stones Throw Records ), etc etc.

Movies:

anything by Sergio Leone, Riki Oh: Story of Ricky , Mean Streets, Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia, Alphaville, Oldboy, Jean-Claude Van Damme films , Wes Anderson movies, Christopher Guest movies, Jim Jarmusch films, Jurassic Park 1 and 3, Me And You And Everyone We Know, the first thiry minutes of most Troma movies , ninja films, City of God, Amores Perros, Tarantino, the serious Corbucci stuff, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, Sunset Boulevard, Peckinpah, things that showcase the human miracle that is Tony Jaa, The Great Escape, Rio Bravo, One-Eyed Jacks, etc etc

Television:

Arrested Development, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Little Britain, Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! , MXC, 30 Rock, Taxi, Kung Fu, Stella, The Michael Showalter Showalter , Sanford and Son, nothing Joss Whedon has ever done, Clark and Michael , The State, etc.

Books:

Giles Goat-Boy, Ficciones, Cosmicomics, Blood Meridian, A Confederacy of Dunces, Suttree, Infinite Jest, The Thought Gang, The Savage Detectives, Invisible Man, Underworld, Ice at the Bottom of the World, House of Leaves, At the Gates of the Animal Kingdom, Pricksongs and Descants, Mason and Dixon, Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All, The Education of H*Y*M*A*N K*A*P*L*A*N, The Cloud Atlas, CivilWarLand in Bad Decline, Raise High The Roof Beam Carpenters, If On A Winter's Night A Traveler, etc etc
Authors Italo Calvino, J.L Borges, DFW, Cormac McCarthy, Roberto Bolano, Gilbert Sorrentino, Don Delillo, John Kennedy Toole, Donald Bartheleme, David Mitchell, Margaret Atwood, Thomas Pynchon, Leo Rosten, Daniel Handler, George Saunders, J.D Salinger, Chris Adrian, Dave Eggers, Mark Z. Danielewski, John Barth, Robert Coover, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Susanna Clarke, Amy Hempel, Frank Miller, Allan Gurganus, Jonathan Lethem, Ken Kalfus, Norman Mailer, Denis Johnson, Alan Moore, Ben Marcus, Phillip Roth, Primo Levi, William H. Gass, Tibor Fischer, Paul Auster, Ralph Ellison, some Pynchon, some Mailer, etc etc.
Currently Reading, 9/11//07 Blindness by Jose Saramago, Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy, The Believer Book of Writers Talking to Writers edited by Vendela Vida, Death on the Installment Plan by Louis-Ferdinand Céline, To Ruhleben - and Back. by Geoffrey Pyke, The Rings of Saturn by W.G Seabald and I have audio versions of The Crying of Lot 49 by Thomas Pynchon, some assorted H.P Lovecraft stories, and Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything on my ipod to pass the time whilst mailmanning.

Heroes:

Funes the Memorious

My Blog

Waffles

My dog Waffles died today. I haven't lived at my parents' place for quite a while and rarely have reason to cook there anyway, but it's still a huge-ass bummer to know that I'll never have the pleasur...
Posted by Adam on Wed, 05 Sep 2007 05:22:00 PST

Lloyd Brown

The last known US WW1 vet died last week. As of March 28th, WW1 was still a current event - one could technically knock on Lloyd's door and shake his hand, hear his voice. On March 29th it became...
Posted by Adam on Sun, 08 Apr 2007 04:44:00 PST

party

So. March 17th, party o'clock, St. Patricks + my birthday party, beer, dancing, high fives, etc etc. Tulsa area people chip in $5 for the keg, out of towners drink beer for free. Remember those people...
Posted by Adam on Mon, 05 Mar 2007 04:38:00 PST

Doctor Visit, sexual nature. My siblings and Sarah's brother should not read.

So Sunday night we got locked out. While waiting for my brother, we decided to make sweet love in the garage. The hood of the 1995 Civic is not adequate for a man of my stature, so I picked my wife up...
Posted by Adam on Sat, 24 Feb 2007 07:51:00 PST

view the cross section to understand the whole

This true story explains everything you will ever need to know about The United States Postal Service.Yesterday, it snowed. After lunch, two managers drove a Ford Explorer around the zone, slowly find...
Posted by Adam on Fri, 02 Feb 2007 06:07:00 PST

The old "powder glass in the eye" method of killing fellow inmates

Perhaps you love kickass movies? The first clip has been on '5 Questions', the other two have been showing only in my dreams. The movie is called "Lik Wong", or more kickassedly, "Ricky-Oh: The Story ...
Posted by Adam on Thu, 04 Jan 2007 08:25:00 PST

good things EDITED

If you ever doubt my inherent goodness, remember this: today a little red bird landed, as in it perched upon, my shoulder. I, my friends, am a Disney dream come true. Love me; love me.----------------...
Posted by Adam on Tue, 05 Dec 2006 06:22:00 PST

updated!!!! - wedding/reception/rehersal night pics

how cute is my grandma? ...
Posted by Adam on Thu, 02 Nov 2006 05:11:00 PST

Everyone loves The Dream, but I kill it.

Yesterday was the creepiest day ever. I'll start with the easy part: Last night's Bachelor/ette party was my first strip club thing ever. I had fun, but it was probably my last strip club thing, too. ...
Posted by Adam on Mon, 25 Sep 2006 08:44:00 PST

"It's hard to improve on perfection, but we had to try."

BanksyThis month he doctored Paris Hilton's album art while Danger Mouse remixed it into one long-ass track of Paris talking about clothes and tits. They then packaged their product (look at the stick...
Posted by Adam on Wed, 13 Sep 2006 03:34:00 PST